glimpses and ponderings

merge

2009-08-15T15:33:00.000-07:00

Hello friends, Some of you read my other blog, a mixed-media life in progress... I wanted to let everyone here know that I have merged this blog with that one. From now on, please go to http://jennyswanson.blogspot.com for future posts from me!

And, if you haven't checked it out yet, please head over to The Retrieval Project to see the daily art project my husband Joe and I are working on right now!

can't let 'em get the best of me

2009-07-21T21:23:00.000-07:00

Starbucks, that is. A few weeks ago I posted here that for the first time in about 12 years, I was about to go to work outside the home. I recently became a Starbucks barista... and I have to admit, the job is pretty fun while I'm there, but it is kickin' my booty big time. I work the opening shift most days starting at 4am... which means I wake up at 3am. Holy moly... I'm not as young as I used to be! And I'm feelin' it. I don't have a problem getting up at that hour... or being genuinely cheerful before the crack of dawn. But what is hard is that in the afternoons, when I'm home with my kids, I'm super tired and probably not a whole lot of fun. I'm realizing I have to be careful not to let Starbucks get the best of me. As in the best part of me... the happy, nice, patient me. Somehow I've got to figure out some balance so there's plenty left for my family. Take now for instance... I'd love to be painting, but I really should be sleeping. I'm sitting in bed as I type, but felt like getting this out before drifting off tonight. I need to come up with some sort of schedule that works. There are so many things pining for my time and I have to come up with a system to make things like laundry, cleaning, cooking, playing, painting and resting not seem so overwhelming. I do hope that this working thing is just for a season. I really want to work from home, doing art, where I call the shots and wake up and go to sleep and have days off when I want. But for now this is my lot and I need some balance to make it all work. I have a husband and four amazing kids who are growing and changing, and I don't want to miss it. I want to find a way to tend to my responsibilities while savoring precious time with my loved ones. Right now it's a huge adjustment. But I have hope that balance is just around the corner.

collaboration coming soon

2009-07-17T17:56:00.000-07:00

I posted this last week on my other blog:

Status update a few nights ago on Facebook and Twitter: brainstorming, plotting, devising, conspiring, planning, collaborating.... need to be sleeping. stay tuned.

We've been back in the Bay Area for five plus months now.... but our stuff (aka most of our home furnishings and belongings) is still in Minnesota. We are feeling SO ready to go get it and have it here. We're still catching up financially from the two huge moves in six months and are no where near being able to afford the trip + uhaul necessary. So as I was drifting off to sleep the other night, my mind was whirling. Trying to figure out a way. We're thinking the trip total will be pretty close to $4,000. Crazy, I know!

Whenever you're in a situation that seems impossible, you have to look around and take stock of what's available. Like in the Bible, when Moses was afraid to confront Pharoah to let the Israelites go out of Egypt, God asked him, "What's that in your hand?". And He used the staff Moses carried to perform miracles and accomplish His will.

We have art in our hands. So here's what I came up with. If we do 100 paintings between us, and sell them for $40 each, we'd could make what we need. So we're percolating ideas and brainstorming and coming up with a list of titles for paintings. We'll each do our own take on each title, and everyday we'll release two paintings (one of each) until we've done all 100. We'll be starting a new blog and an etsy shop for the collaboration.

The theme will revolve around the move, transition, Minnesota, California, new beginnings, roots, family, etc.

I'd love feedback and/ or suggestions for this undertaking. We need to come up with a name for the project, and we could use some title suggestions for the paintings. And of course, if you'd spread the word about this, with links to our blog and shop when they're up, that would be MUCH appreciated!

**Update: We have a name! We're calling this the Retrieval Project. And we have our list of titles. We're busy with our ideas and our paintings, and are planning to launch the project on August 1st. New blog will be up soon also. Please stay tuned!

make shift wagon

2009-06-29T20:33:00.001-07:00

Such a proud moment when I opened the front door to discover what Brooklyn had made for her little brother. That's the kind of summer fun I love. A little creativity and making do with what's on hand. She pushed him around our court on this. And "He only tipped over once!" I love it. He was happy when I opened the door, but by the time I grabbed the camera and came back, he was ready to get out.

happy fathers day

2009-06-21T06:49:00.001-07:00

(l-r: Herb Pfremmer - Joe's maternal grandfather, Robert Swanson - Joe's paternal grandfather, George Wright - my maternal grandfather.)

(l-r: Mike Stewart - my dad, John Swanson - Joe's dad) at our wedding November 26, 1994)

my dad with Mercy (about six weeks old) and me.

(I've got to find a photo of Joe's dad with our kids.)

Joe and our kids last weekend.

give away

2009-06-20T22:19:00.000-07:00

Oops... I was up early blogging this morning and forgot about the promised give away. So how about I award one lucky commenter with a $20 gift certificate to my etsy shop. Go check it out and tell me what you'd spend it on. (This will help me know what things people like, so it helps me out too.) If you'd like, you can also offer suggestions of something you'd like to see offered there.. it can be an idea or phrase for a painting, some sewn item, etc. I'll draw a winner on Friday the 26th.

coffee bean

2009-06-20T08:31:00.001-07:00

This morning I set down my laptop and cup of coffee when my little guy sleepily toddled over to me. Since there were two girls (Brooklyn and a friend) sleeping peacefully on the living room floor, I decided to take Judah outside. We snuggled on the swing, and as we rocked he fell sweetly back to sleep. I stayed there, holding him for about an hour and a half as he slept. I listened to birds and watched them play, heard the sound of tennis balls bouncing back and forth across the nearby court, contemplated life and prayed, while enjoying the peaceful morning.

To say that this has been a difficult year for our family would be a huge understatement. But to say it's been a good year would be an understatement as well. When Joe walked away from his law enforcement career to pursue his creative dreams a year ago, we didn't realize the magnitude of the struggling economy and how it would affect us. I won't go into details of all that's happening here, and I know there are many families struggling through these hard times right now. I am thankful, because we have really never gone without. We've always had a roof over our heads and something to eat. And we've been very healthy, which is no small thing. Through all the trials and tears, there have also been a lot of blessings, a lot of growing, a lot of bonding and a lot of loving.

One thing that I'll share that is happening now is that for the first time since 1997, I'm going to work outside the home. I've done a few different things from home since becoming a mom, but I'm actually going to go out and earn a paycheck for a while. (Not a large one, but it will come with benefits after a while... plus a free pound of coffee every week.. woohoo!) It's bittersweet. I'd rather not work away from home, but if I must, I think I'll enjoy this new job. It's just a part-time gig.. I'll be a barista at Starbucks. I'm a big fan of Starbucks, and I love love love working in the coffee shop at our church, so I think it will be a good fit. I enjoy seeking out little one of a kind coffee shops, and supporting small businesses, but I have this thing for Starbucks. They've worked hard at establishing their branding and it works. For a girl who has moved at least a couple dozen times in just a few dozen years (true story), I find something so comforting about Starbucks. Maybe it's the security and familiarity. No matter where you are, you can spot that round, green logo from far off and know what awaits you inside. You walk in to that heavenly aroma and are surrounded with all that's familiar. A little piece of home. You know what to order and can depend on it to taste the way you want it to. I'm a morning person and don't mind being there early. It's nice for us that they open so early, so that Joe can be home with the kids while I'm at work, and I can be home before he leaves. We'll be passing ships for a while, but "this too shall pass".

So this is my wish/ prayer list this morning...

1. That Joe can do what he loves and be paid well for it.

2. That I can stay home with the kids and create things for fun and profit, adding some play money to the family budget.

3. That until we get there, we continue to rally together with support and encouragement.

I'm sure everyone has heard the analogy of the egg, the carrot and the coffee bean. Each is placed in its own pot of water, and the heat is turned up. The egg turns hard, and sometimes even cracks in hot water. The carrot gets soft and mushy. The coffee bean remains unchanged, but changes the water it's in and presents the area around it with a comforting aroma. I want to be a coffee bean. Of course sometimes I resemble an egg or a carrot in this analogy, but I strive to be the coffee bean. Our women's ministries pastor always refers to coffee bean-type people as the Steady Eddies/ the Stable Mabels. That's who I want to be.

check her out!

2009-06-19T07:20:00.001-07:00

Today I have a gift for you. Not in a give-away... actually why not? Sure, with a give away. But the real gift here is sending you over to a sweet blog. I met Denise on my very first day of college. I drove by myself one afternoon in August many years ago to a place I'd spend the next four years. Only an hour and a half from home, but a whole new world for me. A few of us had to be there a day early, to take a test... can't remember what it was or why now, but I moved into my quiet dorm room and then met the few others on our floor (which was called "Circus Hall". Love that name). We were all new and a little nervous, but excited. I remember being drawn to Denise. She was warm and friendly and there was something so reassuring about her. I was quiet and boring, I'm sure, but I was wide-eyed and soaking it all in. As the year went on, we all discovered other friendships, boys and activities. Our lives moved on and we didn't stay in touch after she left the school. I thought about her over the years and wondered where she was, and then... Facebook! After finding her, I found her blog, and have been hooked ever since. She's so genuine. So full of beauty and love. She's silly and dreamy. She's a new mother, a wife madly in love with her husband, and a photographer who really gets in touch with her photographees (?) to bring out their most beautiful selves. (Someday I will have a photo session with her. Someday.)

Today her post titled "red tent" made my day. I think you'll like her too. I can imagine her having a red tent retreat, where we could all go and just be who we are and laugh and cry together.

And recently she's been blogging about dreads. Yes, dreadlocks. I've secretly wanted them since those college years in Santa Cruz. And since my hair is so unmanageable these days, it could be a good solution. But I'll sit back and enjoy Denise on her journey with dreads for now. I told myself (and Joe) that if I still want them, maybe I'll treat myself for my 40th birthday. So I have a few years to research, imagine and decide. In the meantime, I told a friend who is a hairdresser, and she said she could tame my locks, so I'll set up an appointment with her and see if there really is hope.

So go check her out! I think I'll wait for tomorrow for the give away. That way you can spend as long as you want, just soaking up all the goodness of her blog and not have to rush back here to enter. You can come back tomorrow. I'll try to make it a good one.

an interview of me?

2009-06-08T07:40:00.000-07:00

Simply Dawn, blogger and good friend in Minnesota, asked me for an interview for her blog. She has posted the first part of the interview here. Thanks, Dawn, for deeming me worthy of an interview!

Scripture memory #11

2009-06-02T07:12:00.000-07:00

I just started doing Angela Thomas' Bible study, When Wallflowers Dance, along with my sisters. I went through her book Do You Think I'm Beautiful? a few years ago and it was the most personal, soul searching, heart cry of a study I've ever done. This one is sure to cut to the heart again, in a fresh new way. I'm a bit weary right now. I have a three year old who is wanting control. I realize part of it is the age. And part of it is her need to feel secure. There have been a lot of changes this last year for our family, and she may be feeling a bit unsure of her surroundings. We need to try to help her feel secure in our love, in our Father's love, so that whatever changes are happening around her are not so hard to handle. But it's a process. And right now, it's hard. She is easily upset and some days my patience wares thin. I love her so much and just want to cuddle and play with her. But when she acts out, I also have to discipline her. And I am tired.

So I'm excited about our school year coming to an end and our summer learning to begin. We have sort of a relaxed approach to homeschooling, not real rigorous as far as academics. We do use assorted curriculum, but all of us enjoy learning through exploring and doing more than by reading and quizzing. We're finished with all of our classes outside the home for the year, and this week we're finishing our technical school year at home. I have Brooklyn making herself some flash cards for helping to remember some things throughout the summer and Zeke is finishing up his math book. Then we'll be reading, gardening (I really hope we do this), swimming, playing, creating art, and making memories this summer.

I'm thankful for my sisters wanting to do this study. After I went through Do You Think I'm Beautiful? a few years ago and then heard Angela had another book out, I wanted to do this one, but never got around to ordering it. It will be nice to go through it alone with God in the mornings, but with my sisters on the journey, sharing as we go. One of the things I love most about God is that we can come to Him just as we are. Not just when we're content. Not just when we're happy and full of love. But when we're weary. When we are blowing it with our kids. When we mess up in other areas. When we're lonely. When we're worried or angry or discontent. Today in the study, we looked at 1 Peter 2:2,3 (which will be my Scripture memory verse for the next two weeks).

1 Peter 2:2,3 Like newborn babies, crave spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.

In my weariness, I want to get back to really craving God's Word. Newborn babies crave milk from their mothers. The milk is their life source, providing the nutrients they need to survive and grow. When babies are breast fed, they often reject formula because they don't like the taste. They won't accept a counterfeit. Our first baby was bottle fed. I had trouble with nursing so we switched to formula after the first week. She eagerly gulped it down, but her little tummy couldn't handle what we were giving her at first, so after some time dealing with her projectile spitting up (sorry for the graphic details) and trying to soothe her through tummy troubles, we switched to a soy formula. Once we got it right, she started to really thrive. God's Word is full of nutrients that we need for living and thriving in this life. I want to crave it. I have before, where I just can't get enough. Lately I'm tired. And I want to rest in His love, going to His Word for the nourishment and fulfillment that I need, accepting no substitutes.

Scripture memory #10

2009-05-22T07:15:00.000-07:00

I realized I haven't posted the Scripture verses I'm memorizing in a while. In this post I listed the first five for the year. Today I'll list six through ten. I'm following along with Beth Moore and her "siestas" on the Living Proof Ministries blog, choosing a verse or passage from the Bible to memorize on the 1st and 15th of every month this year. Here's my continued list...

6. Hebrews 10:35-36 So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised. (NIV) My friend Andrea and I shared this one. So nice to have a friend along on the journey... sharing life and memorizing God's Word!

7. Psalm 9:10 Those who know Your name will trust in You, for You, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek You. (NIV)

8. Mark 9:23 Everything is possible for him who believes. (NIV)

9. Psalm 42:5, 42:11, 43:5 Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God. (NIV) This was for May 1st, but I was about a week late in choosing a Scripture to memorize. I went through a few days that were very hard, feeling discouraged in so many areas. Our rent was due and we were short (it ended up being only two days late with the full amount), I was feeling frustrated about our current situation (not making quite enough, stuff still in storage in Minnesota, wondering if we needed to make tough new job decisions again, etc), plus having a super hard time with three year old Mercy. Then I was reading one morning in Psalms and came across this same verse three different times. And I realized I had allowed myself to worry instead of trust in full confidence. I made a choice then to put my hope in God... for I will yet praise Him. Through it all. And it made a huge difference in my attitude and my countenance. He is my peace.

10. 1 Thessalonians 5:15 See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another. (NASB) This one is for the whole family. Today I'm going to print it out and put it up for all to see and memorize.

new blog!

2009-05-16T07:50:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to let you know that I have started a new blog at www.jennyswanson.blogspot.com. This blog will continue to be what it always has been... news about what's happening at our house, pictures of the family, some inspiration and random thoughts. The new blog, titled "a *mixed media* life in progress", will be a separate space to record the artful journey that I have embarked on.

home tour part one

2009-05-13T06:40:00.000-07:00

We've been in our new place for a few weeks now so I thought I'd give you a little glimpse into our dwelling. We'll start with the backyard. Two reasons... first, because it's the BEST part (I could stay there all day), and secondly because our furnishings and housewares are still in a storage unit in Minnesota. We've pieced things together so that it's liveable, but I'll wait to share pictures until it's furnished and embellished with our personal touches and style (which is changing by the minute).

Here's what I see from the kitchen window...

Humming bird feeder (reminder to fill it today)... There are other bird feeders throughout the yard also, and we get visits from a squirrel that our kids named "Dog".
Star of jasmine mmmmm... (Nice trellis maze thing that provides a little privacy from the walking/running/bike trail that runs along the side of our house, and makes a fun place to play.)
Back of the house view from the corner. The stones you see here lead to a storage shed, which we'll fill quickly once we retrieve our stuff from MN.
I was sitting in the swing when I took this next shot. This is a view I see often, as I sit here while rocking Judah or while hanging here with another child from time to time for a chat. This patio is currently much more colorful with lots of chalk drawings. Mercy is so excited she's learned to make an "M" all by herself! You can see the lillies here... there are also daffodils, rose bushes galore, and other lovelies that I have no idea of their names, but I do want to learn to take care of them. At the right of this photo, beyond where you can see, there are raised gardening boxes. Some contain rose bushes, some are longing to be filled (and I'm longing to fill them... good combo!). The kids are excited to help grow some veggies. All along the fence on the right side, there is a raised bed with a soaker hose in place. We just need to get out there and prepare the area and then start planting. I was talking to my sister-in-law yesterday and she recommended a book that I'll search for at the library today... Roots, Shoots, Buckets and Boots: Gardening Together with Children. Sounds fun! I love the idea of a pizza garden!
It is so exciting for us to have this beautiful yard. We have always been renters, and a lot of times yards are not kept up in rental homes, and it would be so much work (and costly) to start from scratch.. a lot of places we've lived have just had dead grass in the yard. In Minnesota we had a very nice yard also... such lush grass... so nice to relax in. And there was a nice corn field behind the house, which was fun. But the trees.. oh how I'm in love with the trees here. It's such a peaceful, shady yard with just the right amount of sun. I hope you hear birds singing where you are right now. Springtime is so beautiful!

Thanks for coming on this little tour. We're hoping it won't be long before we can make a trip back to get our belongings and personalize the inside of the home with familiar touches (which will hopefully help Mercy feel more secure/less testy... oh the exhaustion right now). Stay tuned for more home tour installments!

happy mother's day

2009-05-09T23:02:00.000-07:00

Have you seen this? My sister sent it to me... thanks, Kelly!

This is a photo of my mom with her three girls thirty (something) years ago. (I'm the one on the left.)

Happy Mothers Day to all of you moms. And to those not yet moms, and those who have lost a mother or a child. My heart is full of respect, compassion and appreciation for you all.

recent happenings

2009-04-24T12:19:00.002-07:00

Whew! Moving takes quite a toll, I tell you. If I have any readers left here, I'll be amazed. I think it's been over a month since I've posted. We moved into a place of our own a couple of weeks ago. It's not as close to my sister's house as we were hoping for, and we were not able to buy a home just yet, but it's a great place, and it's home. Photo tour coming soon. Or a partial tour to begin with. We still have most of our belongings in Minnesota, so I along with one or two of our young ones will be making a trip back there in the next month or two. So to start with, I'll show you our yard. It's my most favorite part of this house. So beautiful, peaceful and relaxing.

The weather has been absolutely fabulous here lately. We've enjoyed lots of time outside, and this new area of ours is great for the family, with parks, trails, tennis and basketball courts all around.

Our little Judah took his first steps a few days ago. He's so stinking cute I can hardly stand it. This boy is a thinker, so it was fun to watch him standing there contemplating the whole thing before he actually did it. We had some friends over that night, and he stood there watching everyone, saying "hi!" to all the kids, and then he kept looking at me, reaching for me, laughing while he stood. You just knew he was thinking about walking. This went on for quite a while and then he did it. First a shuffle, and then steps. Two I think. He loved the applause from everyone and so he was happy to do it again and again. I need to take a video of this while he's still doing just a few wobbly steps at a time.

I was glad he took his first steps when he did, because the next morning, I was off with Brooklyn and Zeke for a living history field trip to Fort Ross, on the Sonoma coast. It was beautiful, and a fun experience. We were all required to take on the character of a person who actually was at the settlement 200 years ago, with appropriate dress and names used the whole time. We had a group of 16 kids and 11 parents. There were four groupings... the hunters, the cooks, the militia and the artisans. We were the artisan group. While there, we made tin candle lanterns. We had been doing classes with our group for a few months before the field trip, to learn the history and do some crafts before going. Our group also did a little skit from the Russian folktale, The Turnip. (Fort Ross was a Russian American settlement.) As practiced in the original days of the settlement, we had to have a group keep watch all night long. So we had a night watch shift from 11:00pm-1:00am. The stars were amazing. So many of them, and it was a clear, slightly cool night. So nice. It was really fun to have the time with just Brooklyn and Zeke, apart from the little ones. During the nightwatch they kept taking turns sitting on my lap. Makes me realize they still want/need that and I should initiate it more at home. All in all, we had a fabulous time and will most likely do it again next year.

Joe is loving his work and has an art show coming up the second weekend in May. He has finished the painting he's submitting and he wants me to do a piece for the show also. It's a wee bit intimidating, but I'm excited to just go for it. I guess because I'm not much of a draw-er (I don't even know the correct word... sketch artist, maybe?... anyway, I don't draw well!) I'm learning that I can be an artist anyway, and am having fun experimenting. I'm doing some pieces for a womens event coming up at church and have a few others in mind that will hopefully make it onto a canvas soon.

This leads me to my most recent exciting news. Just yesterday I met with an artist I admire in San Fransisco. I've been following Mati's blog, not even realizing that she was so close until she posted a couple of weeks ago that she was looking for an intern. I was quick to respond to her post, and then a little unsure if I'd be at all what she was looking for. But we decided to meet and talk over coffee and I decided to just be myself, and if it was meant to be, it would be. She is so so nice, and it was great meeting with her. After having coffee, we walked over to her studio, and it was exciting for me to see her space in work mode and her original work in person. I'm very excited to be an intern for her (yay, she picked me!), helping with office type work in exchange for some teaching. Joe is almost as excited about all of this as I am, which is so nice. I love that he's supporting and encouraging my emerging artistic side and giving me the freedom to get out of the house once a week for some creative adventures. I'll start this venture with Mati in May, as a trial for us to see if we're a good match. You should take a look at her etsy shop... she's got such great style.

I hope you all have a fabulous weekend!

welcome signs

2009-03-16T06:07:00.003-07:00

This is a rewind post. Back to our drive from Minnesota to California at the end of January. We've been here for about six weeks now. Still at my sister's for now, so we're not really settled yet. But it's good to be home. I miss Minnesota though. The friends we made, our quiet little town (strange now that I miss it... I was in such culture shock for a while when we moved there, but it really grew on me). The beautiful sunrise over the snow in the morning. The slower pace.

We'll get into our own place soon, and will have our routines and such in place again. For now we're living as nomads... staying with one sister for the most part, taking little trips to visit others.

This weekend we're in Monterey. Joe was asked to fill in at a tattoo shop here, and the kids and I tagged along for a visit with my sister Kelly and her family while he worked. Joe and I lived here for about a year, before children. It's so beautiful, with the ocean and the sand dunes. Later today we'll go to Santa Cruz to visit Joe's sister and her family. Santa Cruz is always a fun place to visit because it's where we met and went to college. We love Santa Cruz. Again, the ocean. And the food we love, the culture of the area.

On Friday, Michelle and I took our kids to Tahoe, to ski/snowboard/play in the snow. It was gorgeous. A beautiful, bright, sunny day in the Sierras.

I love California. I love that where we live, we can drive just a couple of hours and be in the snow, or at the ocean or in the redwoods. I love that our family is here, and our friends that have become family. It's good to be home.

These pictures were from our drive west. Joe drove his truck, loaded down with essentials for the next few months, until we go back for the rest of our stuff which is in a storage unit in Minnesota. I drove the Odyssey. We each had a couple of kids. Judah stayed with me, but the rest shuffled around. When they were apart, they asked to call the other, just to see what they were doing. My car has the dvd player, and both Brooklyn and Zeke thought it would be fun to have a Shrek marathon, but they were with me at different times. So for two days in a row I listened to Shrek, Donkey and Fiona for the length of three movies each day. The other two days were full of games, talks, music and sleep (them, not me). Our kids are great travelers. We really want to do a year of homeschooling on the road in an rv sometime, journeying throughout the US. We figure Joe can be a guest artist at tattoo shops along the way. Maybe I'll be an accomplished artist and can sell my wares as we go. Someday. Now seems like a good time, since we're not tied down to a house. But maybe when the little ones are a little older. Although if we had an rv I'd jump at the chance to do it now. I love road trips and think it would be a great way to learn and teach more about our country.

So this is me driving. Not sure what day or what state. Still snow on the ground.

I was so excited to get on interstate 80! Knowing that it goes all the way to San Francisco Bay, right through our home town just made it so real that we were going home.

Depending on where you are, you may or may not get why I was excited for this next one. It had been below zero for a few weeks in Minnesota before we left. I was hoping that the day we loaded our stuff into the storage unit, it would be at least 20 degrees... but it never got up to zero that day either. As we drove west, it got warmer and warmer. One day we stopped for lunch at a fast food place and it felt so warm, I thought it would be great to eat outside... until I went to sit down and saw that the bench was covered in ice! I took this picture when we got back in the car. 35 degrees was like being in the tropics compared to where we'd been!

And this sign pretty much speaks for itself. Except that if you have a wealth of these near you, you should really appreciate it. Because some people have to drive 20 miles to get to one. And they are not located at the base of every exit along interstate 80 when you're in the middle of Nebraska, Wyoming, Utah and Nevada. So when this sign was in sight, it was a happy thing.

Here's another luxury you may take for granted if you live where Baskin Robbins' abound. This is my favorite favorite treat, and the guy at the place I frequent knows my order. But they don't have Basin Robbins in Minnesota. I told this to the guy who knows my order (because that was one of those important searches I did online before moving). I asked him to move there too and open one, in the name of good customer service. He said he'd see me when I come to visit.

And last, but certainly not least, these signs greeted us when we finally arrived at my sister's house. There were at least four of these throughout the house.

It is good to be home.

these are the days. part 1

2009-03-06T22:07:00.002-08:00

My first "these are the days" post. Because really, they are. Seven cousins in one house. Two sisters (wives/ moms/ aunties). And two dads (husbands, uncles, brother-in-laws). We're having fun. Yes, sometimes things are a little difficult. But mostly it's fun, bonding, memory making going on around here. Like tonight when I proved once and for all that I am not the great cook my sister had thought I was. I gracefully stepped down from the pedestal she had me on. I was making popcorn and after starting to heat the oil, walked out of the room. Oops. Kinda forgot what I had started and waited too long to come back. When I did come back, I lifted the lid from the pot, and there was billowing smoke which soon burst into flames. I put the pot quickly into the sink but did not add water (at least I have some sense). The flames were at least a couple feet high by this point. I stood back while Michelle grabbed some Bisquick from the cupboard and put the fire to rest. Needless to say, this caused quite a commotion among the kids (sleeping brother-in-law upstairs never seemed to notice... smoke detector going off and all). No photos from this event. We were too busy putting out the fire to think about a blog post complete with pictures at the time. But here are some fun ones from the backyard on a much less stressful occasion.

These pictures were taken a couple of weeks ago. Last summer/fall my brother-in-law and the kids built an amazing tree house in their backyard. This thing is top of the line. There are working windows, hammocks, even electricity and a tv for watching movies. I've only been up there once because I never outgrew my fear of heights, and it is way up there. But the kids love it. Mercy even got to go up with her daddy one day. I love the clear corrugated roof. I can imagine a cozy rainy day lounging in the hammock reading, while listening to the rain over head.

Scripture memory #5

2009-03-01T09:28:00.004-08:00

I've been committing more Scripture to memory this year, along with Beth Moore and thousands of her blog readers. The goal is to choose a Scripture the first and fifteenth of each month and work on memorizing it for two weeks and then pick another little chunk of the Word to study and memorize next, so that by the end of the year, it's a great new habit, and we'll be armed with truth and full of His Word.

I haven't posted all of them here yet, but these are the verses in my little spiral notebook so far for 2009:

1. Jeremiah 33:3 Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know. (NIV)

2. Isaiah 33:6 He is your constant source of stability; He abundantly provides safety and great wisdom; He gives all this to those who fear Him. (NET)

3. Jeremiah 20:9 But if I say, "I will not mention Him or speak any more in His name," His Word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shot up in my bones." I am weary of holding it in. Indeed I cannot. (NIV)

4. Malachi 3:16 Then those who feared the Lord talked with each other, and the Lord listened and heard. A scroll of remembrance was written in His presence concerning those who feared the Lord and honored His name.

and for this time,

5. Psalm 37:34 Wait for the Lord and keep His way. He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are cut off, you will see it. (NIV)

I also like this one in The Message: Wait passionately for God, don't leave the path. He'll give you your place in the sun while you watch the wicked lose it. (MSG)

Now if you see me in the street, please be gracious. I'll admit I don't have these all down yet. Maybe that's part of why I'm posting them here. When I was in high school, I was in a discipleship class at church, and we had lots and lots of Scriptures we were memorizing. I had a big test coming up, and I was given a great opportunity to spend a day studying. I was in BMP (Behavior Modification Program, also known as in-school suspension). I was caught cutting class... I know, the things you learn from a person's blog, right? So my fellow delinquents and I were confined to this room for the entire school day. There was to be total silence. We could do school work, read a book, write... just as long as we were silent. So I used the time to memorize my Bible verses. I spent the entire day writing out the Scriptures over and over and over. It really helped. So I think (if I ever get a chance this week.... oh for the days of in-school suspension, forced to silence in my own little world!) I'd like to spend some time writing these five out over and over until they're inscribed on the tablet of my heart.

This week's verse was found this morning. We went to look at a house down the street from my sister's house a few days ago and absolutely fell in love (more on that another time)... I updated my facebook status with "Jenny is praying, hoping, wishing, dreaming about the house we looked at down the street today. So perfect for us in so many ways. It's in God's hands." A friend commented on my status and included the verses John 15:7 and Psalm 37:4. So this morning I took some time to read through Psalm 37. I have an NIV/ Message Parallel Bible, so I read it through in both translations. The whole chapter is basically saying to cling to God and keep to His ways. Don't worry about what anyone else is doing, just keep trusting Him. He'll keep His promises and He'll never let us go.

Since the middle of December when Joe lost his job, God has been providing for us in amazing ways. Psalm 37:18-19 says, "The days of the blameless are known to the Lord, and their inheritance will endure forever. In times of disaster they will not wither; in days of famine they will enjoy plenty." This has definitely been true for us. I have been so impressed with Joe throughout this time. He has been the bigger man and not lost his temper or tried to get revenge or be in competition with his old boss (as some felt he would be justified in doing). We put all of our trust in God and had total peace that He would lead us and provide for us. For Christmas, we had family coming to visit from Colorado and didn't know how we could provide food for everyone, but we received a couple of unexpected checks in the mail so I was able to go shopping. Then while they were here, Joe's mom and sister-in-law and I went shopping again, and our cupboards were fuller than ever. We ended up with enough food to last until we moved out at the end of January (just a few runs for butter, eggs and milk now and then).

The whole chapter also talks about the righteous inheriting the land. I know we can sometimes make the Bible mean to us what we want it to, so I'm careful to claim that as a specific promise about a certain house, but I do know that God is preparing a place for us. And according to Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." There is a specific house right down the street that seems so perfect for us (more of a realistic dream home than the HGTV dream home I posted about before!). It's in His hands, and we trust that He knows our desires and knows what's best for us.

I went to Beth Moore's blog this morning to leave a comment with my verse and the one she posted goes right along with it. I think I'll try to get my #5 down this week and do the one she chose next week. It's Hebrews 10:35-36: So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded, YOU NEED TO PERSEVERE so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised. (NIV)

I feel like we're on the verge of a breakthrough and I'm excited to see what God has in store.

vacation mode/ my little valentine

2009-02-28T08:20:00.006-08:00

We've been back here in California for four weeks now. I still think my sister and her family are saints for taking in our large crew. We're having a great time together. It's going really really well. All of our kids are homeschooled, so sometimes getting school work done is a challenge. And little Judah is way off from his normal routine. He is sleeping better than when we first got here, but it will take some time to get our usual flow back once we get into our own place. Other than that, things are going so smoothly. I love all the cousins playing and working together. From the tallest to the smallest, they all genuinely enjoy each other. And the sister time is pretty special too.

I've been sort of in vacation mode or something, because I'm forgetting things and not in my usual rhythms of correspondence (email, phone calls, blogging, facebook) yet. So you haven't heard from me here in a while. I have things in my mind that I'd like to get into a post, but having a chunk of time to think clearly enough to get it from my head to the keys to the blog just isn't happening much.

I'll give you a little glimpse of what's to come though... a couple mornings in a row I woke up with the Cranberries' song "These are Days" in my head. And truly, these are the days. Right now what we have here is pretty special. I'm sure some days they're thinking it will be nice to have their house to themselves again... and somedays I think it will be nice to be in our own space where Judah will sleep good again... but for right now I want to savor these days. I don't want to just look back and enjoy the memories of this time. I want to enjoy every moment we have here in this sweet circus now.

So I'm going to start a series of posts called "these are the days." You'll hear stories and see photos of this sweet season of families blended. A few other posts will be scattered in there too. Because I enjoy blogging and reading blogs and keeping it up helps me feel connected to old and new friends (bloggy friends included).

So for now I'll leave you with a couple of sweet photos of my little valentine and I. Our fourth and final baby turned one last weekend. (I could go on and on just about all that that evokes in me... but I don't have that much time or emotional energy at this writing.) When Zeke was a baby, I put on dark lipstick and smooched him up real good for some pictures too. (Wish I could show you, but they're not scanned in yet and the prints are in storage.) He melts me.

remembering one year ago

2009-02-22T00:17:00.002-08:00

birth of Judah Zion 2-22-08 @2:22am, originally uploaded by jjbzmjfam.

hgtv dream home giveaway

2009-02-17T08:39:00.003-08:00

Have you seen this? I'm hoping it's our new home. Every year, HGTV (Home and Garden channel) build and give away an amazing dream home. I've been entering for the past few years. THIS year, it's really perfect for us.

We just moved back to California from Minnesota, and it's only about 40 miles from San Fransisco in the lovely little town of Sonoma. We are technically homeless at the moment, though we've been so blessed to stay with my sister and her family while we catch up and save to get into our own place. So I'm thinking this place would be just perfect for us.

I'm sure there are reasons it would be just perfect for you, too... so go enter! And while you're on the site, you can take a tour. My favorite is the kitchen. And the backyard with it's amazing patio area. And the front porch. And the big tree. We recently went to Sonoma, just to check out the area. I'd been to Sonoma Train Town before, but didn't explore the area beyond that. When we went a couple weeks ago, it was a rainy evening.. but we drove around to see the nicest little town. Perfect for bike rides and walks and spreading our creative wings artistically. We also stopped at Ben and Jerry's. Have you had their cake batter ice cream??? Seriously SO good. It has ribbons of chocolate ice cream swirled about. YUM!!!

Ok, so go check out the house and enter. You have two more days. The winner will be announced in March. If you win, I promise I'll be thrilled for you and know that it wasn't meant for us. Just invite me over for a barbeque. (please!)

you can learn a lot from a hermit crab.

2009-02-09T22:09:00.003-08:00

My sister got an email today and I asked her to forward it to me so I could share it here. Unfortunately, the two hermit crabs pictured above are no longer with us. Kermit (rainbow shell) died before we left Minnesota, and Santa (red butterfly shell) froze the first night of our travels because we forgot to bring her in to our hotel.

Good lesson here though.

-Personal Word of Challenge - Are You Satisfied In Ministry?
Over the past years, I have determined to constantly be on the lookout for the Lord's leading, direction, and word even in the most unusual situations. During our business meeting, God specifically challenged me with a word that He impressed on my heart was for you.

We often find ourselves in places or situations in which we believe that we could be doing something better or more constructive with our time. I know that in the busyness of my daily schedule, every moment counts. Well, this past Sunday evening was our church's annual business meeting. Though necessary and extremely important to the operation of the body, it does often lack a certain appeal for most. Some might find themselves echoing Nathanael's words from John 1:46 where he asked, "Nazareth! Can anything good come from there?" Some might say, "A business meeting! Can anything good come from there?" Well, check this out.

Upon opening the meeting, Pastor John shared this illustration. "The hermit crab, in order to live, must continue to change its shell. However, as it makes the move to change its shell, he becomes exposed. He risks being eaten. As he gets older, he begins to enjoy the safety and comfort of this last shell so he does not make the change to a new shell. And the shell that keeps him comfortable is the very thing that kills him because his body has been squeezed to death."

Be challenged to Never Become Satisfied! Never become satisfied with your understanding of the scripture. Never become satisfied with the level of relationship you have with your Heavenly Father. Never become satisfied with the level of spiritual growth you see in the lives of those to whom you are ministering. It's okay to want more! You read that correctly. In this case, God wants you to want more! And, God wants to give you more!

Isaiah 54:2-3 says, "Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes for you will spread out to the right and to the left."

I'm sure you have heard the adage "Us Four and No More." Sometimes we become so satisfied with where we are, what we are doing, and how we are doing it that we never realize we have developed the hermit-crab mentality of safety which eventually will lead us to our own demise.

Seek God this week for ways that you can enlarge your tent. Do not hold back. With ALL of your heart, soul, mind, and strength, do ALL for the glory of God. Place all you do into His hands and He will cause your plans to succeed! (Mark 12:30, 1 Corinthians 10:31, Proverbs 16:3)

Pastor Gary R. Linn

incredible gift

2009-01-24T04:20:00.004-08:00

First of all, I have to PRAISE GOD and share with you that Joe got a phone call yesterday from.. his new boss... He got the job!!! And he's so excited about it! Not only will he be doing what he loves (which he did here too) but also working in a great area, and with so much freedom to be himself, be innovative and expand in new ways. So starting in March, if you're in the San Francisco area and want a tattoo, let me know and I'll give you all the info. He's also working on some painting videos that he'll start selling through his website, and has a couple of series paintings that are super cool. In the words of our nine year old Zeke, "I think Dad pretty much got the job because his art rocks."

I'm also writing this today because I'm feeling so thankful for all that God has done. Joe was disappointed that things didn't go the way he was hoping at the shop here, but feels like if he hadn't come, he'd always wonder "what if", and he says that he probably needed this to give him the push to expand his art and try new things (He'll be putting together an art show with other artists hopefully in a few months too).

I honestly feel like we've been given such an incredible gift. I have never felt so loved than I have this past year. A lot of times we wait until we're at someone's funeral to talk about how much they meant to us. After all the kindness that's been shown, all the meaningful words spoken, all the love poured out, I feel like someone could just toss my ashes out a window on the freeway when I'm gone and be done with it. They don't need to gather and share memories or say nice things about me when I'm gone because they've done it for me, with me, this last year. Old friends, new friends. I just feel so full. To think back at how sad I was writing this first post about our move... I knew without a doubt that God would carry me through it. But He hugely exceeded my expectations in every way. It's been so amazing. And I can honestly say... worth every tear.

peace

2009-01-20T05:03:00.002-08:00

I was driving home last night, listening to the radio, which was set to Joe's favorite Air 1. Thelma Wells came on for a Life Change Moment. I have grown to love Thelma through hearing her speak at Women of Faith events over the years and reading her devotionals. You can hear some of her story here or visit her website here. There's something so soothing about her voice and I love to hear her read God's Word. On the radio moment, she talked about peace and read John 14:27 from the New Living Translation.

I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid.

We are packing up our house this week-- again. We just moved here less than six months ago. It was heart-wrenching to leave our former home (family, church, friends, area), but we knew that God was with us and I was confident that He would carry us through the transition. He far exceeded my hopes in every way. He came before us, provided people to help us unload our uhaul when we first got here, brought us closer as a family, and led us to a new church family that has become very dear to us. I thought that after we settled in here, I'd just have some really sweet alone times with God and enjoy my family in this new area. I have done those things, but what I never expected was to fall in love with so many new people so quickly.

Things did not go the way we had expected or hoped with Joe's job, and he was let go about two weeks before Christmas. Since then we have been praying and seeking God to guide us for our next step. Joe has really stepped up in being the spiritual leader in our home and I have so much respect and appreciation for how he has handled the situation. It would be natural and understandable to freak out, be angry, maybe even depressed. But Joe has stood his ground and sought after God and rested in His perfect peace. We really haven't been anxious about it all... just trusting God to lead us and knowing that He has a plan. We really can't question why He would move us this far only to bring us back again. We can see His handiwork in the whole thing, and I'm sure there's much more that we'll look back on later and realize.

One week from today (if all goes according to plan), we will be on our way again, driving across several states, back to California. We don't have a place of our own to live yet (but my very gracious sister and her family are generously making room for us). Joe has two temporary guest artist spots in shops in Monterey and the East Bay for the month of February, and then a more permanent position in San Francisco starting in March (that one is 99% a sure thing at this point.. he should know later this week... please pray with us about that one).

Through it all, we've been so thankful for God's peace. Peace of mind and heart, like the verse above says. When you're under the shadow of His wings, it really doesn't matter if the world around you is chaotic. He has us covered and He'll lead us, keeping us close through it all.

16 things and Taking Flight

2009-01-16T07:16:00.006-08:00

I have a new favorite book. Really I have two new favorite books. One of them the fabulous All I Need is Jesus and a Good Pair of Jeans, by Susanna Foth Aughtmon, of Confessions of a Tired Supergirl, which I'm giving away here. (Winner will be chosen at random tonight... it's not too late to enter!)

My other new favorite, I've had my eye on for a while and purchased it a couple nights ago. I'm trying to let go of inhibitions and create things. I think I might just have a teeny bit of art hidden somewhere inside that would love to get out but doesn't really know how. So one of the things I'm wanting to push myself to do this year is to just do it. No worries about whether it's right or wrong, good or bad. Just try new things and experiment and develop my own style. I started an art journal last week, which was a good start... but I was so intimidated by the blank page that I left it pretty boring. I like simple, and I think it stated where I was (am), but I feel like I could have added more but was afraid I'd ruin it.

Anyway, my other new favorite book is called Taking Flight. Inspirations and Techniques to give your creative spirit wings. I bought it because I really liked the artwork. I love collage and want to do more mixed media pieces. What I didn't expect was to be so encouraged and built up. I actually cried as I was reading it yesterday morning (and I'm not pregnant. Tired and needing my baby to sleep more at night, yes. But this book really touched me).

And I was so excited to find the author, Kelly Rae Roberts' blog. Reading the book and her blog, I am finding that we have some things in common. Her name is Kelly and her sister's name is Jennifer. My name is Jenny and I have a sister named Kelly! She apparently has relocated sometime somewhat recently, and our family has made a major move (soon to be twice.. more later) in the last six months. There were a few other things too, and since I'm feeling so friendly with her, I thought I'd take the 16 things challenge from her blog. (We're friends, so she was asking me, right?)

So here we go.. 16 random-ish things...

1. Judah just woke up from a very short nap.

2. I really wish he'd go back to sleeping through the night like he did for his first eight months.

3. I really really love coffee.

4. We're going as a family to see Marley and Me today.

5. We've already heard about what happens to Marley.

6. I really don't know how people in Minnesota survive year after year in these sub-human temperatures (30 BELOW zero here this morning!).

7. But I'm going to miss this place.

8. That said, I'm also really excited to get back to the Bay Area.

9. I wish I'd never stopped taking piano lessons when I was a kid.

10. Though I would love a little more stability right now, I totally respect and admire my husband's drive, determination and risk taking in following his dreams.

11. I love to travel.

12. I also love food. All kinds.

13. My sisters are amazing, encouraging and inspiring.

14. I also have amazing friends. I feel so blessed.

15. I'm very competitive when it comes to playing games.

16. I grew up as a military brat. It was hard at times, but I have great memories of a happy childhood. I love my family.

giveaway at copycatforest.com

2009-01-11T12:45:00.006-08:00

I won my first ever giveaway this week and so I'm paying it forward. (I was going to post a photo here of the prize package, but for three days now I have not been able to get blogger to upload it!) Head on over to copycatforest.com to see the prize and enter!

word of the year

2009-01-08T03:24:00.003-08:00

A week into the new year, still reflecting, still looking forward. I liked the idea I saw over on tip junkie about having a word of the year. I often have a theme verse for a season, and sometimes theme words just come to me as God is teaching me... through sermons, songs, verses and life. Like a few years ago, when He was teaching me about His MERCY.. what an incredible gift. (And where our little Mercy got her name.) And then there was a season of PRAISE. Praising Him through it all.. the pleasant, the difficult... fighting through praise, finding strength through praise. And then Judah came along. His name means praise. So does Brooklyn's, by the way. Which is awesome. Ezekiel means strength. That's not my word for the year, but I thought you might like to know, and didn't want to leave him out.

This year's word (or at least my word until God shows me another one) is SAVOR. I'll have to admit that this one didn't happen upon me like the others did, in a more spiritual way.. But as I was thinking about this past year, and looking forward to what might be ahead, I was asking myself what I really want for this year. And I really want to savor it all. I've been in a savoring state since last year, leading up to our big move from California. I really wanted to savor everything and every moment with family and friends. And coming to Minnesota, I wanted to really experience it for all I could, and I've been enjoying and savoring as much as possible here. And the kids (wait.. don't you just love that in a blog, there are no real grammar rules, and you can start a sentence with And when you really want to?).. anyway.. Our kids are growing and changing all the time and I don't want to let a minute of it go by without noticing, savoring each step.

So I decided that would be my word for the year. SAVOR. I need to find a fitting verse to go along with it. I also like that it can be referenced with food because I really love food. And maybe I should apply it to food too. Sometimes we eat just to eat, and munch on something while we're multitasking doing other things. But isn't it so much better when we pay attention to each bite and really enjoy it? Here's an example. I love Oreos. I don't usually buy them because I've been known to eat an entire sleeve in a sitting. If they were chips or popcorn, that much might be acceptable.. but not Oreos. So on the rare occasion that we do have them, I'll give myself a nice little stack of three. And then I'm also online or reading or something and all of a sudden my stack is gone when I thought I had one more. I always end up wishing I would have savored it before it was gone (so I end up going back for one more and totally enjoy each bite).

But with real life, we're not usually given the chance to go back for one more. Your three year old's snuggly moments are over and now she's off to run and jump and play. Your husband's day off was spent running errands and now it's over (and it's great to go to the grocery store without having four kids in tow, but time together needs to be priority too). You have so many things that you want to get done during the little ones' nap time but you miss the opportunity to spend good quality time with your older ones.

SAVOR. I want to make the most of every opportunity and experience each new step to the fullest. Now I'm off to savor a cup of coffee.

Here's to a savory year! (I could get really cheesy with this... and probably will.)

wordless Wednesday

2009-01-07T08:27:00.005-08:00

flashback friday

2009-01-02T22:06:00.005-08:00

These pictures were taken in July, when our last day with my sister's family (before the move.. not last day ever!) turned into a sleepover. Here are all the kids snuggled close together in their living room.

And this is the brilliant idea they had the next day... The girls taped their hands together so we couldn't leave. Heart breaking to tear them apart.

Oh how we love our cousins and sleepovers. Hopefully it won't be too long until we can have another.

more Scripture memory

2009-01-01T14:25:00.004-08:00

A new year. A fresh start. A clean slate. A future wide open. I've been contemplating things I'd like to do differently in 2009, things I'd like to do more of, and things I'd like to continue doing. I'll make a list at some point.. but I decided not to make it a list of resolutions, but rather of goals for the year. At the very top of my list is memorizing more Scripture. God's Word is alive and active and so powerful... when we use it. But to use it, we have to know it. I want His Word hidden in my heart. There are lots of verses I've memorized over the years that are like lifelines to me. There are so many more hidden in The Word that I really want to commit to memory. So I was thrilled to discover on Beth Moore's blog that she invited her readers "siestas" to join in one big accountability group and memorize Bible verses together. You can check it out here and here... and join in!

The verse I chose first was sent to me in an email this morning by my womens ministries pastor at our old church, in response to a request for prayer for my husband as he is seeking employment, wisdom and direction right now. (We'd appreciate your prayers too.)

Jeremiah 33:3 Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know. (NIV)

And the Message Bible states it this way: Call to me and I will answer you. I'll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.

I also like the verse Beth chose to start with:

Isaiah 33:6 He is your constant source of stability; He abundantly provides safety and great wisdom; He gives all this to those who fear Him. (NET)

our four santas video

2008-12-26T05:36:00.002-08:00

Click here to create your own video

Christmas letter 08

2008-12-23T05:13:00.003-08:00

I wrote a Christmas letter but never got around to getting it printed. I posted it on Facebook, and thought I'd post it here too. Have a very Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!!! 2008

This has been quite a year of transition for our family! It started in February when little Judah Zion was born and completed our family of six. He is such a sweet and mellow little guy. He has recently learned to crawl and pulls himself up to stand and move along the furniture.

A few months after Judah was born, Joe made the tough decision to get out of law enforcement and pursue his real passion, tattooing. When we lived in Minnesota back in 1997-99, Joe had a co-worker who, after we moved back to California, opened his own tattoo shop in St. Cloud. They have stayed in touch over the years, and there’s always been an invitation for Joe to work at his shop, with the potential of taking it over when his friend retires. At the end of July we made the move here and settled in a little town called Rice. It was heart-wrenching leaving family, friends and church, but we knew that God would be with us and we had each other. Since we’ve been here, it’s been fun to reconnect with family, sharing holidays and special events with them. We’ve also actually come to like the little town we live in! The kids love playing outside (even in the sub-human temperatures we’ve been having lately!), and we are enjoying the slower pace of life.

What we didn’t expect to find so quickly here was a church where we all instantly felt at home. We had been here for a couple of weeks and tried a church that I’d found online before moving, and it just didn’t seem like the right fit for us. Then we found out that a friend Joe grew up with had started a church near us about a year ago. When we walked in the next morning, we immediately felt at home. They even had a coffee shop! They meet in a beautiful log building on a golf course, and the people have been so wonderful. One of the nice things about a new church is that everyone is new, so we just joined in as they’re all getting to know each other and developing friendships. Joe has been helping with set up once a month on Sunday mornings, I've been working in the coffee shop and helping with the women's ministry and Brooklyn and Zeke are taking part in a Christmas program this Sunday. We’ve made some really good connections that go way beyond “Minnesota nice” in such a short time.

Now as the year is coming to an end, we find ourselves in transition again. Joe was let go from the tattoo shop a couple of weeks ago. He’s been able to finish the month there, but he and his friend who owns the shop have had different ideas about marketing and ways to make money in the industry. The economy has affected everyone and business has been slow. Joe has decided he can’t just sit there day after day with no one walking through the doors, so he’s been working on a website, which is to be like an online tattoo magazine, with interviews and relevant articles. He’s also working on some seminars and books that he can sell from his site. He’ll keep working on these things as we’re praying about what to do next. At this point, it looks like we may be moving back to California. We’d appreciate your prayer support, as we really long to be where God wants us.

It seems crazy that we would move all the way out here just to go back. I’ve wondered if possibly the tattoo shop was just a way to get us here for something else, or if maybe this was just to be a respite for us for a time. God’s ways are higher than our ways, and even when it doesn’t make sense to us, we know He sees things that we don’t. A few things that have been great about this move… We have reconnected as a couple and as a family. That alone is worth the hassle and money it takes to move back and forth! Another thing is that we have never experienced the love of the body of Christ like we have in this last year. We had the most amazing goodbye with parties, potlucks, pictures and prayers in the months before we left Vallejo. When we got here, we were amazed that people we didn’t even know met us at our new house to help unload our u-haul, and one family even brought dinner for everyone. And our new church family… the great thing about being in the body of Christ is that when you go somewhere new, it’s like meeting relatives you’ve never met before. There’s been an instant connection.

So we don’t know exactly what our future holds at this point, but we know Who holds our future, and we are thankful for His peace that passes understanding! We are resting in the assurance that He knows what is best for us and He will lead us as we follow Him.

Quick updates on the kids...

Brooklyn turned 11 in September and has recently been given the nickname, "BrookWorm". She's always always reading and can't wait for the next trip to the library. She loves doing crafts as much as I do and we've been having fun trying new things together. She has been enjoying the girls group at church, CIA (Chicks in Action) and is in a girls' club through our homeschool group.

Zeke (9) wishes there was a club or weekly get-together for boys, but he has a few friends in our neighborhood that would come over everyday after school to skateboard before the snow came.. now they are having fun building snow forts and snowboarding down the snowdrifts. He also has a couple of friends at church that he's getting to know. He has his dad's talent for drawing and loves to be with him as much as possible.

Mercy is now three and finally going on the potty! She's our super-silly-all-the-time girl. She loves to color, read books, jump, hop, sing.. and cuddle. She brings a smile everywhere she goes. It's fun to watch the relationships between the different siblings. With Brooklyn, Mercy loves to read and do crafty things (Brooklyn has been her preschool teacher this year), with Zeke, she loves to wrestle and be silly, and with Judah... we have to watch her. She likes to hug him tight and carry him around. (He usually doesn't mind.)

I guess I already talked about Judah in the beginning of this letter.. I'll just add one thing. When I think about the calm, sweet baby he is, I'm reminded of Paul's words in Philippians 4:11, "...I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances". We can learn a lot from a baby!

And the Baby who is the reason we celebrate next week... O come let us adore Him!

“Now to Him who is able to do exceeding abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory!” (Eph. 3:20-21)

Merry Christmas with lots of love,
Joe, Jenny, Brooklyn, Ezekiel, Mercy and Judah Swanson

Joe's website: www.thisistattoo.com

Jenny's blogs: www.jjbzmj.blogspot.com
www.copycatforest.com

new blog!

2008-12-19T19:04:00.004-08:00

I've started a new blog and got it up and running this morning! I'd really like to play with the background and Joe is working on designing a header and buttons for me... but I wanted to get it going instead of waiting for it to be "perfect". (I like the saying, "Done is better than perfect.")

Here's a link to the "about" section to give you an idea of what this blog is to be.

And this will take you directly to the main page: www.copycatforest.com

It's in the beginning stages, so bear with me... but please visit, come back often, leave comments, share ideas, let me know if there's something else you'd like to see, etc. This is to be a cooperative blog, so I'd love to have as many contributors as possible. If you'd like to share an idea or tip, please email me at jenny@copycatforest.com.

Thanks for visiting!

Christmas card holder

2008-12-12T11:32:00.005-08:00

Yesterday I saw a Christmas card holder at Crafts Direct that I just had to come home and try. I started with a 12x36 inch canvas, a few spools of colorful ribbon, and these red thumbtacks. (Theirs was left white, and they had simply added some red and green canvas snowflakes, which were available for an extra 16.99.) I decided to skip the extra decorations and paint my background. So I painted it brown, and then added some red dots here and there.

Next, I measured and marked down the sides at six inch intervals. (I started at 3 1/2 inches from the top, so there'd be some of the canvas showing at the top and bottom once cards are hung.) After measuring and marking on both sides, I stretched ribbon across and secured them into the sides of the canvas using red thumbtacks.
Next, I turned the canvas over and stapled the excess ribbon onto the frame in the back, and then trimmed off any extra ribbon that remained.
Here's the finished product, ready to be hung when little ones wake up from their naps.
First card hung.
Side detail.
Super easy! You can do it too! If you make one, take a photo and let me know! Enjoy!

flashback friday

2008-12-12T11:25:00.002-08:00

This was our family Christmas picture three years ago.

keeping Christ in Christmas

2008-12-09T20:05:00.005-08:00

Over on tipjunkie, I saw this post that I thought I'd participate in. The topic for today's "Talk to me Tuesday" is Keeping Christ in Christmas.

I collect nativity sets. I have a thing especially for toy sets of all kinds, that the kids can play with. We talk about the birth of Jesus, read lots of books and sing the songs. I love to watch them playing with the characters in the play sets, acting out the events of the Christmas story.

This first picture is of Mercy two years ago. This set has a cardboard background and wooden people with magnets on the bottom. It came with two wands, also with magnets on the ends, so you can maneuver the people around the scene without actually touching them. (or just grab and play, like Mercy is doing here.)
This is one of my favorites.. not a play set, but beautiful. Someday I'll add more to it.

This set is my most favorite of all. It was the first in my collection. I'm really sad that at the moment we can't find the cat. Not that I'm a huge cat fan, but I thought it was pretty neat that a nativity set would come with a cat. And it was a really cute cat. For some reason it was in our window sill for a while in our old house, and I remember putting it somewhere when we moved so it wouldn't get lost. You probably can relate.

This one is a playmobil set, which is currently in Zeke's room.

This is another great one. It looks like clay, but is actually rubbery something. This one is actually an advent set, with a booklet telling you which piece to add to the story each day. We aren't doing that part this year with this set, but Brooklyn has it in her room and at 11, still enjoys playing with the people and animals, acting it out.

Close up of the main characters. Another thing I love about this one is that it has a little drummer boy. I always wanted to make a nativity set out of clay, and have a drummer boy. I also want a kneeling Santa in my set... someday. But this one is so close to what I pictured making I just love it.

My mother-in-law gave me this set. The donkey's ears are currently needing repair so he's not in the picture. I let the kids move these around if they're careful, but it's not technically a play set.

So that's part of how we keep Christ in Christmas at our house.. through our talks, books, songs and play.

Another part is that we don't put much emphasis on gifts. We try to keep talk of gifts focused on what they'd like to give instead of receive. This year, Joe told the kids they could each pick a family, ministry or organization to donate a designated amount of money to. They've been taking this seriously, really thinking about what to choose and are excited about it. Also, we draw names and each of us make a gift for one other family member. It's a nice way for each of us to spend some time thinking about that one person and focusing our time and creativity to make something special for them.

jenny needs...

2008-12-05T09:02:00.007-08:00

I seriously laughed out loud for a few minutes when I did this, so I had to post... maybe you'll get a good laugh out of your results too. I was blog browsing, and came across this post on Keeping up with the Chreste's. You just type in "what (your name) needs" in a google search. Here's mine:

Jenny needs...

1. to find herself a baller (this one cracked me up.. especially given our current situation and how slow work has been for Joe. I promised I won't go searching! ... By the way, anyone need a tattoo? I know a good artist!)

2. a wee (wonder if they meant wii?)

3. a road bike

4. space! (exclamation part of search result)

5. to step it up

6. to go on a spa weekend (I'm not making this up!)

7. your help Forest Gump (makes me want to go eat at Bubba Gump)

8. to quit caffeine (I'm obviously not making this up!)

9. to play by the rules

10. a break.

Go do a search for yourself and if you put up a post on it, leave a comment so I can read your list! Have fun!

cookie day!

2008-12-04T08:53:00.003-08:00

A while back, I posted about a cookie party that my good friend Corliss does every year. She did a special one in the summer before we moved, and contacted me when she set the date for the Christmas party so that we could participate from afar. See, every year, she fills her home with friends and food, while everyone bakes, decorates, and eats while utilizing her amazing recipes and skill. On Saturday, we got ready by making some sugar cookie dough (recipe found here), mixing up frosting, and gathering cookie cutters and sprinkles. We listened to Christmas music and had fun cutting the shapes and then frosting our cookies.

Mercy is a girl after my own heart... we both sampled our share of dough (the best part of baking!).

Here, the kids are rolling and cutting out their shapes.
A highlight was getting to join our friends back in California using Skype. One of our friends there brought a laptop and called us so we could experience cookie day together. The picture was a little blurry, and we couldn't hear them very well, but it was fun to see them and know we were taking part in one of our favorite traditions of the Christmas season with friends.
While on the call, Corliss opened the box I sent and passed out these coffee sleeves to all who were there.
We had a great day and had (notice the past tense of this statement.. it was five days ago, after all!) some beautiful and delicious cookies to boot.
Here's a sampling of what was created.
Later, my Little Miss Claus got a ride in her sleigh by two fun and willing reindeer throughout the house!

camera of choice

2008-12-04T08:35:00.004-08:00

Over the years, people consistently ask me what type of camera I use. I've used several, from point and shoot to SLR to now digital SLR cameras. The camera that I currently use and absolutely love is the Nikon D40. I love photography and enjoy learning more about tricks and techniques. Maybe I'll feature a section about photography in the new blog I'm ramping up (details and link available soon... stay tuned!). For now, my favorite tips to share about taking good photos are simple. 1.) The closer the better, and 2.) use natural light whenever possible instead of flash. It's also fun to get off center and try different angles. If you have tips you'd like to share, please comment or email me. I love sharing and learning from others' experience!

baby, it's cold outside!

2008-12-03T18:13:00.004-08:00

Oh my goodness. It is cold here!!! I drove from my nice warm garage tonight (35 degrees) to take my kids to Royal Rangers and Missionettes and watched as the outside temperature thing on my car went descending below 20 degrees. On our way home, the temperature registered at a whopping 12 degrees outside! I also had a realization that three of our children have never been this cold before in their lives! On the plus side, I learned something nice about the grocery store. They have a drive up service. Apparently, after you buy your groceries, you can leave your stuff in your cart and someone will meet you at the curb, where you can drive up, airport style, and have your groceries loaded. I didn't take advantage of the service tonight.. but when it starts snowing, that will be pretty sweet!

anniversary and Thanksgiving

2008-12-03T09:01:00.006-08:00

Last Wednesday Joe and I celebrated being married for 14 years in a row. (I like to say "in a row" because it sounds so much more accomplished, don't you think?) What a journey we've been on. We had no idea 14 years ago the twists and turns this path of life would take us on. But it's been a good road. Reason numero uno: God has been our tour guide. He allows us to take detours here and there, learn some lessons, and then He leads us back to His perfect path. Here we are, on our anniversary, driving up north to visit some of his relatives (our family) for Thanksgiving.

This was our first holiday (aside from birthdays) that we were away from our family and friends and usual traditions in the Bay Area. It was sad thinking about all the fun we usually have with my sisters and their families, the kids being together and performing plays for us... but we are so thankful that we do have family here, too. And it was fun celebrating with them. Joe's cousins have kids near the same ages as ours. They had fun running around the apartment building where Joe's aunt lives, and where we had our feast. Some highlights of the day: We woke up to snow... (it's been super cold, but no real snow where we live yet).
Here's a shot of the glorious food that was feasted upon... (which includes my semi-famous corn casserole that my sisters apparently boycotted. One sister says it's because they just couldn't have it if I wasn't there to make it... the other said it's because they didn't have the recipe! I'll post that soon, because it's oh-so-good, and usually a crowd pleaser.. and oh-so-easy, which is always a plus.)
After we ate, we had fun visiting with everyone, and the kids all did some more exploring and video taping who-knows-what. Another highlight... they got stuck in the elevator! Five kids, ages 11, 10, 9, and five-year-old twins. All stuck in an elevator. We were in a community room near the elevator and I heard a bunch of screaming. At first I dismissed it, thinking the kids were upstairs in our room (there's a guest room there.. so nice!).. but when I heard it again, it sounded much more like panic than play. I rushed to the elevator and assured them that we heard them and knew they were stuck, and that they should remain calm and we'd get help. I actually thought they may be there a while and told Brooklyn to have everyone sit down and for her to tell them a story. (I thought it was a good idea, to keep them calm and quiet.) But Joe's uncle went upstairs, closer to where they were stuck, and gave much better instructions. Turns out, there's plain as day instructions posted inside the elevator, telling a person exactly what to do if some such emergency should occur. So the kids settled down and listened to him, made the phone call they needed to make, and were safely out in no time. Quite scared, but safe. The rest of the night, our kids didn't want to use the elevator, but we reminded them that everything worked out before, and now they knew just what to do if it ever happened again. I'm sure that's part of this Thanksgiving they'll remember for a long time!

Later in the evening, we went to Joe's aunt's house and had a good time just hanging out, the kids playing with toys, us visiting, everyone stuffing popcorn and apples into our already overcrowded tummies. We hadn't had a family picture taken in a long time, and no really good ones at all since the addition of Judah.. so we had a little photo shoot while there. I really like this one, and it may be used as our Christmas card picture.. but Joe shaved his beard a few days later (yay!!!), so now this seems "so yesterday"! If the opportunity arises, we may get a new picture taken.. if not, this one will suffice. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving also! Now on to Christmas!!!

choose thankfulness

2008-11-22T13:32:00.006-08:00

Three posts in one day! It's feast or famine around here I guess. This one's been brewing for about a week, but I wanted to wait until I had this banner finished and hung so I could include a photo. At a time when there seem to be disappointments all around.. struggling economy, presidential elections that didn't go as we'd hoped (and what that means for 35 years of laws to protect not yet born babies), and things in our own life not going quite as we'd thought for the last few months... We choose thankfulness. There is so much to be thankful for, in little and big things every single day. The other night, we sat down as a family (after a few days of feeling really sad about missing home) and we decided to make a list of things that we're thankful for HERE. And we decided that we're going to focus on these things and enjoy this place to the fullest for whatever time we have here. We have no idea really if we'll be here for two years or twenty... only God knows for sure. And while it's okay to miss family and friends (and weather and culture) where we came from, we're choosing to be thankful for what we have here. Here's what we came up with... ideas submitted from all family members, well all but Judah, in no particular oder:

really nice sink water

extended family being here

playing with neighborhood kids

mornings together

being able to ride bikes and play outside more

new friends

corn field

playing in the snow

wild rice

Old Creamery Cafe

Caribou Coffee

Mall of America

opportunities to trust God

the Waters Church

great new church friends

the Christmas play (Brooklyn will be a narrator and Zeke will be "back stage" moving sets)

not having cable tv

geocaching

fun parks

Mississippi River

less traffic

cheaper gas (down to 1.62 yesterday!)

renewed dreams

getting closer as a family

less busy-ness

doing more art/ crafts

all I have to give

2008-11-22T09:37:00.003-08:00

Today is Saturday, usually cleaning day at our house. I was listening to Christmas music via Pandora this morning as I swept and mopped the kitchen. A song came on that I hadn't heard before. Maybe you have.. it was "This is All I Have to Give" by Todd Agnew. And it was a song from Joseph's perspective, about feeling unworthy of being the one to raise Jesus. He wished he could have built Him a cradle, but instead He was laid in a manger. He felt that Jesus deserved more than he could offer, but at the same time, Joseph was more than willing to give what he could. I hadn't thought that much about Joseph feeling inadequate before. I love the movie "The Nativity Story" and I remember one part, when Mary and Joseph were talking, and he said, "will I be able to teach him anything?". And I think a lot of us can relate. How often are we given tasks that we feel inadequate or unworthy of? Maybe a job, a ministry, a situation, parenting, etc. But just like we probably think that Joseph was more than the right man for the job and God's obvious choice... He also gives us the grace and strength for each task He calls us to (and thinks we're the perfect choice for). How many times in Scripture did someone feel inadequate and God simply asked, "what's in your hand?"? (I'm thinking that's not correct grammar there... where does the question mark go?) Anyway, He never asks us to do more than He's already equipped us for. Sure He stretches us, but He doesn't ask us to be someone we're not. He just wants us to offer Him all that we have, all that we are. And then He shows up and works in and through us to accomplish His plan. A few years ago I was at a women's retreat and I drove home in awe of God and how He uses people in different ways. I have been guilty of comparing talents and gifts, even personalities of others, feeling so blah and boring in the contrast. But His gentle but firm voice spoke to my heart and asked, "Why do you despise who I made you to be?". Ouch. He makes each of us different, which is a good thing. I love diversity and appreciate the personalities and skills of others. We're not made to be like anyone else. And who are we to wish we were something other than what He made us to be? Like Joseph, let's offer all we have to give. That's the best we can do, and all that He wants.

flashback friday

2008-11-22T07:54:00.005-08:00

Ok, so it's really Saturday morning. I meant to do this yesterday. There are so many weekly bloggy things people do (Memory verse Monday, Works for me Wednesday, Thankful Thursday, Flashback Friday, tons more... just not thinking of them right now). I decided to do a Flashback Friday picture. Because I love pictures and remembering. This may or may not happen every Friday. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee it won't. And I may do some of the others now and then. So here's my flashback for this week... Sweet Mercy a few months before we moved. I love this picture. It reminds me that she had more hair then.. poor sweetie, still pulls at it, mainly when she's tired. I should make her something with soft fringes or something that she could play with instead. We'll see if I can come up with something!

baby weight... wait... or not

2008-11-18T17:24:00.005-08:00

As I struggled into my jeans this morning, I thought about something I once read. It said that since it takes nine months to gain the weight when you're expecting a baby, you should give yourself nine months to lose the weight. Well that would mean that I have until this Saturday to lose 12 pounds. Not. going. to. happen. So my first thought was that with the holidays coming and everything, I should just (continue to) forget about it for now and make it a New Years Resolution to lose it by his birthday in February. But then I thought maybe I could still make that the deadline (goal) but to go ahead and start now. That gives me three months. 12 pounds divided by three months is four pounds per month. Or one pound per week. I can do that. I think. If I really try. I should probably cut back on the chocolate chip pancakes several mornings each week. And it is getting ridiculously cold here (in the 20s lately). So I'm going to make a real effort to eat better, and put Wii Fit... and my determination... to the test. Really it's not even so much the number on the scale.. But I'm really sick of the limited wardrobe I have had since February. I can't go out and buy new things so I'd really like to fit into my old things again. Without bubbling out. So I resolve now to start.. tomorrow. Because I had a rather large chocolate chip pancake this morning and a tuxedo mocha freeze just a few minutes ago. Not that I won't indulge now and then. Because what fun is it to live if you can't indulge? But in moderation and with a balance of better nutrition and regular exercise.

hands that hold my heart

2008-11-15T13:28:00.006-08:00

Made to freeze this moment in time. I love the little hands. And the ones not so little anymore. All working and playing together. I am thankful.

Idea came from a post on The Crafty Crow.. which, by the way, is a super fun blog with lots of great crafty ideas.

etsy

2008-11-13T19:52:00.006-08:00

So... I've been making things for quite a while and up until now, have only made things as gifts... baby blankets mostly, and recently coffee sleeves, with random things thrown in here and there. A few friends in California encouraged me to sell my blankets, and one friend even offered to sell them in the gift shop she manages at a hospital in Napa. I just never got around to it, or had the extra time to make things for selling.. I just made them as gifts. Well, these days, I still don't have the time (maybe even less than before!), but I've been squeezing some crafting in here and there when I can, and am giving the selling thing a go. I started an etsy site, and posted some things today. I have more to post, but my photos were too large, so I'll have to take more pics tomorrow and try uploading again so I can finish listing the things I've made so far. I may even contact that friend back in Napa about making some blankets and coffee sleeves (I'm calling them "green sleeves") to sell there. Not sure what will come of it, but money is super tight right now, so I figured I'd give it a try. Every little bit helps! If you're interested, you can check out my etsy site. Here are a few picures of some of the things I've listed there...

first thought

2008-11-13T05:19:00.003-08:00

First thought of the morning: "YAY!!! My baby is back!!!"

I heard him crying, and looked at the clock. 5:49am! He did not wake up once during the night! I was so spoiled, as he'd slept from about 9:00pm until 5:30am since he was about a month old. The last several weeks have been an entirely different story. He has been waking up several times a night and I've been exhausted. Each night as I lay him down and pray for him, I also pray that he'll sleep through the night. I'm confident that God has heard my prayers each night, but last night, He answered the way I've been waiting for! Now let's hope we're back to normal! I'm so thankful!!!

bathing buddies/ answered prayer

2008-10-15T11:25:00.003-07:00

After blogging about our sad day yesterday, I closed the computer and gave our little ones a bath. Judah had been chomping on a biter biscuit while I was online, and if you've ever given one of those to a baby, you can imagine how messy he was. Mercy was due for a bath too, so I put them in together. This was a first for these two, because Judah has just recently started sitting steadily on his own, and Mercy likes the bath water higher than it could be with just Judah laying down. She was so excited to take a bath with him! It was so cute, and a great distraction from the sadness we had been feeling.

As I sat watching these two laughing, splashing and playing together, I was drawn to Judah's big brown eyes. A lot of people comment on his eyes lately and say things like "he sure has his momma's eyes" or "look at those dark brown eyes!". And I'm thankful. God is so sweet to answer silly prayers that pregnant moms like me pray. When I was pregnant with Brooklyn, I didn't know if we were having a boy or girl, but I was in Target one day and heard a little one talking with the cutest raspy voice. And I prayed that our baby would have a raspy voice. She's pretty much grown out of it now, but Brooklyn definitely had a voice like I'd prayed for, for several years. And when I was expecting Judah, I prayed for brown eyes. Brooklyn's are brown, Zeke and Mercy both have blue eyes, and this time I prayed for brown again. He kept us guessing for quite a while. I remember bringing him to church several times and my friends would gather around, some saying they thought they'd be blue, some thought brown, some just couldn't tell yet. But now, there's no mistaking this boy's beautiful big brown eyes. God is so good.

omelets

2008-10-15T10:43:00.014-07:00

(Two posts in one day! I just uploaded some pictures and thought I'd share them.)

A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting having breakfast with some new friends at a women's retreat (which I should write about later). We got on the subject of omelets, and one of the girls offered a new method of making them. I loved the idea and was excited to try it at home. They were so easy, and a hit with the whole family. Here's the step-by-step:

First, break desired number of eggs into ziploc bags. (We used two eggs each, and we used the double zipper bags, for added security during boiling. This may or may not be necessary.)

Next, add ingredients. This part was fun for everyone. We added basic omelet things like cheese, ham, bacon. I also added onion and tomato to mine.

Then you get to squish it. Oh. It's probably obvious, but just in case, I'll say zip the bag closed first. It would get rather messy if you didn't.
Squish, squish until everything is well mixed.
Like this.
Oops, I also forgot to say you should start a big pot of boiling water before the first step. That way the water should be boiling by the time you add the bags. We did four at a time in our pot. I guess it depends on the size of your pot.

It took longer than I expected for them to cook. I think maybe around 20 minutes. Sorry I don't have an exact time. Just watch them. You can tell they're done when the egg looks cooked and no longer runny at all.
Here's our first batch, all finished!
We just opened the bags and plopped them onto a plate (or bowl in this case).
This was a fun breakfast for everyone. They took a while to cook, but it was nice that everyone got to put in their own ingredients, squish up their bags and add the bags to the water. It was also nice that as they boiled, we could do other things (like Family Fun Cranium game), and they were ready at the same time.

a sad day

2008-10-08T08:26:00.006-07:00

Today the sad day came when we had to take Josh back to the airport. He was with us for almost three weeks, but it went by too fast. We enjoyed him so much and made the most of our time together. We stayed up late last night having last minute fun, and then had to leave at 5:00 this morning to get him to the airport. Since he was an unaccompanied minor, we were able to wait with him at his gate. We grabbed some breakfast and spent our last half hour playing a game he taught us. They started the boarding announcements and the time came to give hugs and say goodbye. It was so hard on all of us. I know he had mixed feelings, being away from home for so long, he was ready to get back.. but he was really sad to leave too. And we were really sad to see him go. We all cried on our drive home. We really don't know when we'll see him again. We're hoping to make a trip back to the Bay Area in the spring, but right now finances are really tight, so it's not a sure thing.

Between sobs, I listened to Frontline's "The Combination" cd and remembered singing my heart out to those songs many times. There's one song called "Better in the End" (which you can hear on their myspace page). I love Frontline and this cd and have listened to and sung along often. I really purpose to be a worshipper who pays attention to the words and sing the songs from my heart. Today as I listened, when it got to the "I don't want to fear what you may change. Make Yourself at home in me. You see the picture of my life... so much better in the end" part, I thought, "really, God? With this plan it's going to be better in the end? Because I liked my life before. Things were going great and You know how much family means to me. Really, we had to leave all that?" And I often wonder if we'll go back or if His plan is to keep us here. It's not that I don't like it here. I actually do. And we've been making friends and connecting with great people. But "what used to be" was amazing too. I really don't like the idea of being so far away from sisters and cousins and close friends that we have no idea when we'll see them again. I feel like there's such a huge hole because they're not part of our daily lives anymore. Yes, we can call and email and Facebook and Skype. But there's just nothing like cousins getting together and laughing and playing and creating and just being. Together. My youngest niece has started walking since we've been gone. I'm afraid Judah may be walking by the time we see them again. That's just not ok with me. Yes I trust God completely with my life and what His plan is. Yes He's blessed us with an amazing church and people here already. This is a new church and we're getting plugged in, and it's exciting to be a part of what God is doing there. But I'm sad today and that's what's coming out here. This is a good place. And these are good people. I just want both. A couple of weeks ago my kids were doing a floor puzzle of the map of the U.S. They rearranged things a bit and put Minnesota right next to California. I liked that idea. I think I'd even overlap them so we could be neighbors. My God is a good God. I know that His plan is to prosper and not to harm us. I know that this is a grieving process and I'm so thankful that He knows me and lets me cry it out and holds me through it all.

one's (not) on the way

2008-10-01T11:38:00.005-07:00

When I was growing up, we only listened to country music in our house. My dad was a big fan of Willie Nelson, my mom loved Dolly Parton and Loretta Lynn, and I remember our record rack being full of other favorites such as John Denver, the Oakridge Boys and Alabama. This morning I had an old Loretta Lynn song going through my mind, "One's on the Way". I don't remember the whole song, but it's basically about a chaotic house full of kids, and the demands on the mom. It goes something like, "One needs a huggin, and one needs a cookie, and one's on the way" and "One needs a spankin, and one needs a changin, and one's on the way". Ooh, I just found a video on youtube. Right now I have seven kids in the house. My sister (aka Bitzy the Clown) went to Russia on a missions trip. She'll be visiting orphanages, spreading joy and the love of Jesus with children. While she's gone, her kids are here. Two nieces, ages 15 and 13, and a nephew, age 11 are with us. The girls have to go back early because they're involved in a youth theater program and need to be there for auditions. My nephew will be with us for two more weeks. We're having lots of fun with them. I'm enjoying having 7 kids in the house! But this morning I had to laugh as that song went through my head. In our case, it was more like

One needs a calculator, one needs a tissue. One needs a changin, one needs a towel, one needs some Motrin, one needs a nap, one needs a pancake.... The difference here is there's not one on the way! And really, it's not so chaotic. It's going really well. The older cousins help the younger ones, and everyone has been getting along great. It's been so nice to have a little piece of home here with us. Sadly, tomorrow is our last day with the girls. Then they'll spend the weekend with their uncle (their dad's brother) before flying home to California on Sunday morning. It's nice to have a house full. We're enjoying every minute together. We spent time at the Mall of America after we picked them up from the airport, going on rides and celebrating Brooklyn's birthday. We've played the game "Mafia" a lot, gone for walks and bike rides, church, library, done some cooking and smoothie making, they all helped Joe mow the lawn, they're doing school together, board games, Wii, and just enjoying being together. I even let them sneak into the corn field behind our house one day. They're great kids to have around. I think our house will be strangely quiet when they're gone.

baby talk

2008-09-15T18:22:00.003-07:00

Sitting here on the couch with my two girls and my sweet baby boy. Zeke was in the shower, Mercy was on my lap, Judah was laying next to me, holding my fingers while Brooklyn read a library book to us. Judah is a pretty quiet little guy, but he bursted out with what really, really sounded like "Brooklyn". We stopped and looked at each other with wide eyes, thinking "Did you just hear what I heard?" and "Did he just say what I think he just said?" We all talked to Judah and asked him to say it again, and I kid you not, he did. It sounded pretty clearly like "Brooklyn". Just to be sure, Brooklyn asked him to say it one more time. It took a little while, but he did it. That was quite a gift to his big sister. Her eyes and smile were so wide with love and excitement. And so it will go down in the books that Judah's first word was "Brooklyn".

first week of school

2008-09-06T05:49:00.004-07:00

We just finished our first week of school. We're adjusting to a different schedule this year. Since Joe works from noon until 8:00pm, we take the mornings off to be with him. We start school at around 11:30, take a lunch break after a couple of subjects, put Mercy down for a nap, and get the rest of our school day done while she's asleep (which makes it easier). It's a different schedule to get used to, as before we always enjoyed being done by lunch time. But it is nice to have the mornings off, and we've just started a running program. So a couple of days this week we've put Judah and Mercy in the bike trailer/stroller and Joe and I run/walk while Brooklyn and Zeke ride bikes, scooter or skateboard alongside us. During the school part of our day, Judah sleeps for a while, then hangs out with us. He's pretty mellow and content. Yesterday he was sitting with Brooklyn while she worked on her math drill.

Brooklyn has been so excited for weeks because she asked if she could teach Mercy preschool this year. She even went shopping with me the week before school started to a teacher supply store and bought some things with her own money that she could use for teaching Mercy. Mercy loves the one on one time, and I use the time to do Language Arts with Zeke.

When Zeke and I finish, he plays with Mercy while I work with Brooklyn individually. It works out great.

We're enjoying our studies on Exploring Countries and Cultures. This week and next we're studying about maps and globes, and getting ready for our trip around the world through books and food. I'm really excited to try new recipes for each area we learn about. My sister is going to Russia in a few weeks on a missions trip (and I get her kids while she's gone.. Yay!!!). It will be fun to be learning about and praying for Russia while she's there. This week we drew the continents on an orange and then tried (unsuccessfully, unfortunately) to peel it in a way that we could flatten it out, to show how map makers have to distort things a little to put a round world on flat paper. The kids also filled out passport applications and we took pictures for them, so they'll have passports to stamp for each country we visit. They also learned about scale and made maps of their rooms, measuring everything and transferring it from feet to inches for the map. They love the activities that we're doing. It definitely makes learning fun.

Here are a couple of pictures of our school room. We each have a table for individual work, and lots of floor space for reading together, activities, etc.

uprooted

2008-09-02T12:52:00.004-07:00

What a weekend! The last several days I have been very sad and missing family and friends. We're getting more settled here and today's our first day of school, so with that means new routines. I guess it hit me that these routines don't include the people and places that our old routines included. It also hit me that the ministries and "outlets" that I was involved in on a weekly basis there are no longer a part of what I do or who I am. I was feeling sad and disconnected.

Joe and I were looking online a couple of weeks ago for a "NOR * CAL" decal for our car, knowing that soon the unfortunate day will come when we have to trade in our California license plates for Minnesota ones. We decided to get a norcal sticker so there's still a representation of where we're from. While on the website I saw this "uprooted" t-shirt and Joe said I could order it. It came last Friday, when I was in the midst of heartache. The lovely poppies and their long, scraggly roots. I felt uprooted, yanked up from my homeland, torn away from people who know and understand and love me. I didn't want to tell Joe much about my sorrow because I didn't want him to feel bad. I wasn't blaming him or anything... just very sad.

On Saturday Joe's mom called to let us know she just found out that a friend Joe grew up with in church had recently started a church just 10 miles from where we live now. She didn't have any other information but we looked it up online and found where it meets and the time of the service, and decided to go. So Sunday morning, I was full of emotion as we drove to this new place of worship. It's just hard finding a new church. Especially when you're so sad to have left your old one. But we drove up to this beautiful log building on a golf course where the church meets and followed the signs to where the kids would go. The children's staff was very nice and welcoming, and Brooklyn and Zeke quickly made their way toward the kids church area. Mercy, on the other hand, was holding me tightly, saying, "I don't want to go to my class!" We took her over to some very kind ladies in the nursery, and one of them reached her arms out and said, "Can I hold you?" Mercy nodded and went to her, snuggling in to rest her head on her shoulder. I was almost in tears myself leaving her, and then Joe and I (with Judah) made our way into the service.

We walked in and in the back of the room there was a coffee shop! I lost it! I couldn't keep the tears in anymore. I cried through most of the songs and the rest of the service. But it was good. God was there, and He was reminding me I was in His presence and that's the bet place to be. The last song we sang at the end was "Better is one day in Your courts, better is one day in Your house, better is one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere..." And I realized that if I'm really honest, I'd much rather be in His presence here than in Vallejo without Him. And then the pastor read from Psalm 84:

"How lovely is Your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty! My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God. Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young-- a place near Your altar, O Lord Almighty, my King and my God. Blessed are those who dwell in Your house; they are ever praising You."

Later that afternoon, Brooklyn got out an old jar that was chipped and asked if she could have it to put dirt in and then pick flowers to put inside. I told her that the flowers would die if she did that. I said they have to be uprooted so they can grow. As I said the words, I caught myself and remembered the t-shirt. Uprooted. I was doing just fine where we were, growing, even flourishing. But God had plans to move us to another garden. I'm so thankful He didn't just let me be plucked up, snapped from the stem. Because of His love, I was uprooted so that I can continue to grow. His ways are higher than my ways, that's for sure. But I trust Him completely and I'm glad He cares enough to pull me out from the roots.

panakuken

2008-08-26T18:22:00.008-07:00

recipe handed down from my mother-in-law, Nancy Swanson

(This makes 2 9x13 pans, so you can half the recipe for less people.)

6 eggs, beaten

5 cups milk

3 cups flour

2 tsp salt

2 Tbsp sugar

2 sticks butter

Melt butter and add half to batter. Put remaining batter in 2 9x13 pans. Mix all batter ingredients together. Pour into pans and bake at 375 for 30 minutes or till light brown (it will bubble up).

We usually eat this with brown sugar, strawberries, and sometimes sour cream. You can also slice apples and lay them on top of the batter before baking, and sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar.

cradle cap

2008-08-26T18:09:00.003-07:00

First a little background.. Judah's hair grows in a natural mohawk... long in the middle on top, short everywhere else. Quite the little rock star without even trying.

A little more background... Mercy's always pointing out to us his "eye burgers" and picking at them. She also likes to pull apart his toes and pick at the fuzz.

So this morning, I was picking at his cradle cap and Mercy came over and said, "Mom, Judah have burgers on him mohawk!"

birthday boy

2008-08-25T12:19:00.006-07:00

Here's our nine year old! Zeke had a hard week missing family and friends from the Bay Area, but we did our best to make his birthday special and I think he had a good one. This picture was taken a few days before his birthday at a local park. We're still scoping out parks in the area, but so far this one's our favorite. Notice the fun water play stuff in the background.

On his birthday, he woke up to a huge birthday greeting across our otherwise barren walls, and had panakkuken for breakfast. A little later we went to the mall so he could pick out a new skateboard deck. When Joe went to work, I took the kids bowling. We headed back to our house after bowling so Mercy could get a nap. Zeke and Brooklyn had fun playing outside and he got some practice in on his new board. He also got a special birthday Skype session with cousins. Later, we went to Space Aliens, a restaurant with a video arcade. Joe and his co-workers met us there after the shop closed. Yesterday some family from Northern Minnesota came to celebrate with us. We enjoyed a barbeque in the nice weather and had fun spending time with them. All in all, I think we celebrated this nine year old pretty well and he knew he was (is) loved.

woe is me

2008-08-21T13:54:00.003-07:00

That's how this blog must sound some days. Really I don't mean to be negative. I don't really feel negative.. but this whole move has its ups and downs, and this morning was going down hill.

Yesterday our curriculum was supposed to arrive, but when it didn't and I checked the tracking, I realized that the address was printed wrong somewhere. So I called UPS this morning and found out where I could go pick it up. I got the directions and headed out. The address was on a highway that I'm familiar with, so I thought it would be easy enough to find. Wrong! I drove and drove, thinking a UPS distribution center would be pretty easy to spot. I ended up in a town about 15 minutes past where I was supposed to be, so I turned around. I headed back, this time being super careful to notice every building on either side of the road. Peering through some trees as I passed them, I spotted a UPS truck. I continued on until I could make a u-turn, and then went back. Sure enough, this UPS place was hidden in the trees, with no sign or anything. I didn't think that was very nice of them to hide from weary travelers like me.

On the way home, I planned to stop at the grocery store. I haven't yet picked a grocery store that I like best (there is no Safeway here). So I saw a Cub Foods along the way and thought I'd go there. I took the exit from the highway, but then made a wrong turn and ended up back on the highway, going the other way. Ugg! So I took an exit and tried again. This time I made it to the store and proceeded in with my list. It really takes forever to find things in a new store. If only it were laid out exactly like my beloved Safeway. I was back and forth throughout the store several times and had to ask employees at least twice to help me locate certain items. I honestly don't know how long I was in there. By the time I was ready to drive home, I felt I really deserved the enormous chocolate cupcake that called out to me as I walked through the bakery. I wish I had a picture for you. It really was a lovely cupcake. But my camera wasn't in the car, and there was no way that thing was going to make it all the way back to the house in one piece. I thought there might be half of it left, because it really was huge. But by the time I pulled into the driveway, there was nothing but a few crumbs. Oh, it was so good. It was a creme filled chocolate cupcake, like the kind from Hostess that you used to get in your lunch box only on very special days, only homemade looking and much bigger. It was very moist, and surprisingly light and fluffy. I kind of wish I hadn't tried it. Because now I know where they are and I may just go back for another sometime.

roller?

2008-08-21T05:36:00.006-07:00

Yesterday morning, he did it. He's been looking like he's been close to rolling over for quite a while now. I have to admit, with moving and everything, I wasn't in a big hurry. I liked that if I laid him down somewhere and walked away, he'd still be there when I got back. This boy has such a sweet, mellow personality.. he just isn't in a hurry to do much. And that's just fine with me. While I was getting breakfast going for the older kids yesterday, I put Judah on the floor (carpet) nearby. He was just laying there quietly, and after about five minutes I looked over and noticed he was on his tummy! No one had gone over to him and rolled him over (they like to do this). He was just chillin' on his tummy, propped up by his elbows, chewing on his hands. He's so quiet about everything. We couldn't make a big deal about it when it happened because we didn't know! Of course the kids all rushed over to him and congratulated him once we noticed. Maybe I can't call him a roller yet, because he's only done it once (that I know of... maybe he's secretly rolling all over the place and is so good, he gets back to where he started by the time I'm looking... or maybe not). He'll be six months old tomorrow (Zeke's birthday.. his half birthday). Some have been rolling for months by this age, some crawling... not Judah. He just likes to hang out and watch everybody. And that's just fine with me.

looking forward

2008-08-17T20:31:00.003-07:00

I'm looking forward to school starting in a couple of weeks. I thought about starting a new blog at homeschoolblogger.com specifically for school related posts, but I'm still kind of a rookie at this whole blog world so I thought I should keep it simple and just do it all in one place. Besides, our homeschool life is really intertwined with our regular daily life since school and home occur together for us.

After posting the other day about needing to get our school room unpacked and organized, I got to work. I finally ordered the curriculum we'll be using this year from My Father's World. A friend told me about it a few years ago, but I was already using Heart of Wisdom at the time. I loved Heart of Wisdom for me.. it was great for Bible study and I learned a lot, but since it is designed to be used with older grades, I found I was having to adapt a lot of the lessons and come up with my own hands-on projects to keep my kids' interest. So for now, I've decided to switch gears and go with something that already has a lot of fun activities planned out, as well as good, sound teaching. We'll be doing the unit on Exploring Countries and Cultures, which I'm super excited about, because I have a heart for missions and love geography. I think we'll have a lot of fun with it and when you're passionate about something, it makes it that much easier to teach.

Speaking of passion and teaching, we've set up an art room in the house too, and Joe is sharing his love of art with the kids. Judah and I have been sick for the past couple of days, so we stayed home while Joe took the other three kids to church and then to an art store in Minneapolis to get some supplies. They've all three started painting canvases. I'll post pictures soon. We've decided not to get cable here because we all tended to watch too much tv before and we'd rather spend our time more purposefully. I really wish we had at least a few basic channels right now so we could watch the olympics, but overall I'm thankful we opted not to get it. So far we're all reading more and the kids are drawing and playing outside a lot. Once we finish getting everything set up, we'll be doing more art projects and crafts, and I'm really wanting to sew some things. Stay tuned for updates and pictures of our creations!

settling in

2008-08-14T18:57:00.001-07:00

I don't think it's a coincidence that one of the boxes I opened our second day here contained the book After the Boxes are Unpacked. This is a book I read about 10 years ago after our first move here (and hadn't really seen much since). I attended a Hearts at Home conference and went to a breakout session called "Surviving Relocation". The title caught my attention, and as someone who moved every couple of years throughout childhood (my dad was in the Navy) and also moved several times since getting married (my husband says he was on a college tour), I thought I'd see what this session was all about. I cried through the whole thing. It validated feelings I wasn't even acknowledging that I had. The speaker referenced the book I unpacked last week and talked about how when you move you go through a grieving process. There are different steps of grieving that movers experience, and it's perfectly normal and ok for me to feel things like denial, anger, depression and sadness. Eventually I'm supposed to get to acceptance, but I think I'll allow myself to go through the steps in order and not deny the fact that this is a grieving process.

So I started reading the book again. And I started crying again. But I'm doing ok. I've actually made a couple of friends, thanks to my scouring the internet before we moved, looking for resources for when we'd get here. Tomorrow we're going to a friend's house who I met through a local homeschool group. She's going to walk me through the steps of what I'll need to do for the legalities of homeschooling in Minnesota. Yesterday we walked to another friend's house. It turns out she moved to this neighborhood (from 15 minutes away) just 10 days before we did. And she goes to the church we're trying, and was in the nursery on Sunday. She even offered to watch Mercy last night while I took the other kids to a Fall Rally for the homeschool group. I did leave Mercy with her, but we never made it to the Fall Rally. I found the address to the place online and printed directions from mapquest, but I didn't follow them correctly. I can blame it on the torrential downpour that occurred at the exact moment I was supposed to switch highways, or the fact that I'm the new girl. It would have been nice to go, but since we've never been, we don't really know what we missed. There will be other opportunities to meet people.

We are getting settled. At least upstairs is mostly kind of done. I don't have anything on the walls yet, which I should. Because pictures make it seem more like home. I kind of lost motivation to get everything unpacked. I was doing so well... the kitchen was done early on, and I made sure everyone had bedding the first night. Brooklyn and Zeke were required to unpack their own rooms. Judah's is done. Mercy's is waiting for beds that were in Joe's grandma's house, so she's sleeping with Brooklyn for now. And the school room. I thought I'd be finished with that by now. I guess because it's out of sight it's out of mind too. I really need to get it done so I can assess what's needed to begin in a few weeks. I really like to be organized. I did a little today. Maybe tomorrow I can call that room done too. And I should really get some things on the walls. I need to see faces of family and friends (besides just on facebook!).

God is good. He knows me and He knows my grieving and my honest attempt to settle in here. And He's holding me through it all.

we made it

2008-08-12T11:54:00.003-07:00

Well I'm sitting in my new living room in a little town in Minnesota. Yesterday my mood matched the drizzly, gray skies. It was Joe's first day at work here and I was left at home waiting for the guy to come connect our internet... with four kids, lots of boxes, and the reality that this is our life now. It all started yesterday morning when I went to join Curves. I had to fill out paperwork and when I got to the part where I had to fill in my nearest relative I almost started crying. I just skipped it and moved on.

Things have actually been going pretty well. Really well even. We have been so blessed by God's goodness and the body of Christ coming through when we really have needed it. The move didn't go as planned. Over three months ago Joe hired movers to move our household stuff and car haulers to haul his classic cars. Both fell through four days after we left California. I don't need to go into the details of the long story, but basically Joe ended up flying back after we'd driven half way, gathered some friends to help load a Uhaul, and moved our stuff himself. His sister Sarah also helped by driving his truck out for us. She spent her birthday driving across highway 80, through Utah, Wyoming and into Nebraska. We love her. While on the road, Joe called the church I'd scoped out online to see if they might have anyone available to help us unload when we got here. Our sister in law in Colorado also made some phone calls, because she grew up not far from here and has connections still. Shortly after we pulled in, we were met by some Masters Commission students from the church, Joe's cousin and her fiance, and some friend's of Melita's.. who even brought dinner for everyone. We were really blown away. God takes care of us even out here in the boonies in Minnesota!

Two days later, we got to spend the day with the Peterson clan. They are our very dear friends (family) from our church in Vallejo. Pastor Scott and Betsy both grew up in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area and their parents are still there, so the whole family (19 of them) came to visit and set aside a day to spend with us. It was great to see them and get away from the boxes for a day. On Saturday there was a kids carnival at the church, so we went and the kids had a good time. We met the pastors and Joe was invited to the senior pastor's house that night for a pay per view UFC fight. He loved that. We also had some visitors come by to meet us at the house... I had joined a homeschool group online and had been corresponding with a mom a little since joining. She and another mom brought their kids over to meet us and she's offered to help fill out the paperwork I need to file for homeschooling here. On Saturday at the kids carnival, her daughter brought us some yummy homemade banana/chocolate chip bread. We were warmly welcomed at church on Sunday too, and the kids enjoyed kids church. After church, we headed down to Minneapolis to hang out and swim with the Petersons at their hotel. We enjoyed our time together again and came to our final goodbye. Then we headed home and went to bed.

I guess after all that busy-ness, it's understandable why yesterday was a hard day. Joe went to work and I was in my new reality. I'm confident though, that God will be by my side through this huge adjustment and He'll be my strength. I'll probably blog more as I go through this process. For now, I must tend to my sweet Judah, who just woke up from his nap.

such sweet sorrow

2008-07-21T23:55:00.001-07:00

Parting, that is. I haven't blogged in a while. We've been having a fun, busy, purposeful summer. I can't believe our time here is winding down so quickly. Next week (it's really down to next week already?) the movers come to load everything and then we begin our journey. Sunday when we were up in front of church, Joe said it might just be for a season, that hopefully we'll be back. I do hope so. But I'm going with an open mind. Only God knows what's on the next step.

I've savored many sweet moments with friends and family this summer. I'm sure some are wishing we'd just hurry up and leave already. This whole going away thing started pretty early. It was the beginning of June when we had the potluck/going away party at Bible study. Then a few weeks later my sweet friend Corliss had her cookie party (usually at Christmas time, but at the end of June since I won't make it to the December one this year). After Disneyland, I surprised when a ladies pottery painting night turned into making mugs for me to take with me. Then dinner with a few close friends who'd love to go every month, but it usually only happens a few times a year, and we made sure to squeeze one in before our move. And our last time to host "family night". And the dinner for the coffee shop workers. And our last Sunday at church. So many lasts (for now at least). It must seem too drawn out for some, but we didn't plan it that way. And one thing's for sure. I feel loved. God has been so good, and He's blessed us with such amazing family and friends here. I have savored each moment and will treasure the pictures and the memories.

Now we're getting to the hard part. The real goodbyes. All these other going-away-ish things weren't too sad because we'd still see these people since we weren't leaving yet. But Sunday may have been the last time we'd see some of them for a while. And tonight we had dinner with and had to say goodbye to a special family who has become our family. Tomorrow we'll see my mom and Kelly's family for the last time until one of us visits the other. Sarah and Eric are so busy at camp, I'm not even sure if we'll get to see them again before we go. Michelle is here in town, so we'll should still see each other this week. Our kids want to have a sleepover and I want to spend time with them. I get her kids for two weeks in September/October while she's in Russia on a missions trip. It will be great having them at our new place, and may make it easier to say goodbye here. Also, our super good friends are ALL (20 of them) coming at the end of the week that we'll get there. They have family in St. Paul and will come to our neck of the woods... I mean lakes... for the day. Another great friend is hoping to come for Mercy's birthday in October. Knowing people are coming takes a little bit of the sting away. I have that old Boys2Men song going through my head.. "It's so hard to say goodbye... I'll take with me the memories to be my sunshine after the rain (snow in my case)..."

I know God is going before us and with us. And I know we'll be okay once we're there. Joe's aunt has already offered to come help us unpack and get settled. And I've already connected with a few homeschooling moms in the area through a homeschool group's website I found. But I'll so miss all of our loved ones here. I'm so glad for fun times these last few months. I'm glad for opportunities to just enjoy the company of friends and make memories with family. I'm leaving with a sad heart, but with a cup overflowing (make that seven mugs overflowing!). Filled up to be poured out... I guess I better be ready to be poured out.

summertime

2008-07-06T07:18:00.001-07:00

Wow, it's rushing by! I haven't blogged in a while. I've had fun reading others' blogs, but I haven't been doing much of my own. We're trying to get the most out of this summer while we're still here, and so far we've been busy. After Joe and I came home from Minnesota, we had "Cousin Camp" at my sister's house. It was a crazy fun week for 10 silly kids and their moms.

The next week, our kids had "Mega Sports Camp" at church. Kind of like VBS, but with a sports theme. They had a blast. Then, a dear friend from church, who hosts a cookie baking and decorating day every December, arranged to have a special cookie party at the end of June since I won't be here at Christmas time. So sweet. So we baked, decorated, ate soup and cookies, talked, laughed and had a relaxing time together.

Last week, Brooklyn went to summer camp. It's strange writing or even thinking about our little girl going to camp... but our sister and brother in law are directors at a camp, and Brooklyn went with two of her cousins on Joe's side of the family. They had a great time. She was super tired at the end of the week, but it was all worth it. So special to have that time together.

While she was gone, I got a little packing done, cared for a baby boy with tummy troubles, and played with a two-and-a-half year old. Zeke got to stay at camp for a couple of days with another cousin (at their house there). The day after he came home, he went to a sleepover with his best friends here (minus one, who was at Disneyland). Then the fourth of July festivities began... so much fun! Now we're off to Disneyland ourselves for a few days, joined by my sister Kelly and her family. Sadly, Michelle's family won't be joining us.. but we still have time to have fun with them before we move. I can't believe how quickly our time here is coming to an end. I'm really sad when I think about it but I'm still enjoying the time we have left and haven't really let myself dwell on the sadness for very long yet. After Disneyland, we're going to a wedding and then we'll be home for two weeks packing and getting ready. Right before we move, I'm going to our women's retreat in Tahoe. That will be super fun but likely super sad at the same time. I'm just enjoying every minute I have left with friends and family.. and I'm thankful that I've been blessed with such amazing friendships that I know will live on even after we've moved from here.

we found a place

2008-06-22T05:53:00.001-07:00

It helped that we had been searching online for weeks and weeks before the house hunting trip. I had been on real estate sites, for sale by owner sites, links from the online newspaper for the area, and craigslist. The whole thing did not go down as we had expected or hoped, really.. but we got a place none the less. Since Joe is going into a commission based job instead of a steady salary position, we were not able to get traditional financing for a house. He talked to a private lender but was a little unsure of the guy and the amount he was willing to finance wasn't quite enough to find a place for this family of six. So we decided to try to find a place we could get with a lease option (lease with option to buy). We did this a few years ago out here, and it worked great. So the house we found was a for sale by owner listed on craigslist. Joe presented the seller with the lease option idea and he was willing to work with us. So we have a place to live. It's a nice place. It has it's pros in cons in terms of what we were hoping to find, but I'll focus on the pros. The nice thing about a lease option is that if we choose to buy it in a couple of years, the price is already locked in, and it's a good price. And if we decide it isn't where we'd like to stay, we can move on to something else. It's in a teeny tiny town. The kids are excited because they can probably ride their bikes pretty much all over town with no worries. There is a little restaurant there, and they make super good wild rice soup.

I cried the first two days I was there... the reality of the whole thing really set in. I felt bad for Joe. As much as I tried to hide my emotions, they kept coming out. He worked while we were there, and the work was good. It was really busy and people liked his work. Once we got the house thing settled early in the week, there wasn't much for me to do around there, so I took Judah to meet his northern Minnesota relatives. Let me just say that this little guy is a fabulous traveler. He slept the entire plane ride, did great in the car wherever we went, and was full of smiles for all the new people he met during our trip. He's such a sweet baby.

The family we have there is great. They were very accommodating while we were there and made time to see us even with such short notice that we were coming. It would really make this move easier if we were moving to the same area they're in, but it will be nice to be just a few hours away.

The three older kids did great while we were gone. We'd never left them for that long before and I was a little nervous before we left, but they had a blast playing with cousins. We talked to them everyday and skyped one night with them. All in all, it was a successful trip. Sadly, our time here is quickly winding down. I really need to get to packing. My excuse for not doing it before was that I wanted to wait to see what kind of place we'd be living in first, so I could picture where things would go and figure out what I need to get rid of. Now it's just been too hot. But those are just excuses. Really, I dread packing for any move. But it's time to face the responsibility and just get started so I'm not left with the huge task at the end. My sisters and I were just talking this week about The Procrastinator, a character from the Amanda Show. "I'll get to it.... eventually!"

things I'm looking forward to... part two

2008-05-30T06:10:00.001-07:00

Last night when the kids talked to Joe, he said they'd just had some thunder and lightning. That will be next on my list. I LOVE a good thunder storm! And it's kind of fun that they occur randomly and then let up and the sun comes out again.

Before I go any further in my list.. I have to include family. We're leaving a lot of family and friends here, but we are really looking forward to being near Joe's extended family in Minnesota. His grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and their kids still live there. I wish we'd be closer (his dad's side of the family is about an hour away, and his mom's side about three hours or so). But still, we'll see them much more often than we do now, and they are super sweet people. Judah is one of four babies born in the last five months on one side of the family. And there are other cousins that are our other kids' ages. They had a blast playing together last summer. We'll also be a little closer to Joe's mom and brother's family in Colorado, and a two-day drive away from my dad and his wife in Florida. So we'll terribly miss our family and friends here, but we will get to see other family more often, and that's a good thing to look forward to.

things I'm looking forward to... part one

2008-05-29T16:09:00.002-07:00

So I know I was pretty sad in my last post. But I said there were some things I'm looking forward to about moving also. I was reminded of one this morning. We dropped Joe off at the airport last night for his red eye flight to Minnesota. He'll be there for about two and a half weeks, filling in at the tattoo shop there while one of the other guys is away on vacation. He's hoping to iron out some details there, and then Judah and I will join him for the end of his trip for some house hunting. When I got out of the shower this morning, I had a text message from Joe. He said he had just stopped for breakfast and had wild rice sausage. That will be the first thing on my list of things I'm looking forward to: wild rice. I've never had wild rice sausage, but I bet I'd like it. Last summer when we were visiting Minnesota, I had wild rice every chance I got. My favorite was "Wild Chicken Tetrazzini" at a place called Grandma's in Virginia. I also had wild rice chowder and a wild rice and chicken soup. Wild rice is a Minnesota thing, and one of the little joys I'm looking forward to.

moving

2008-05-24T21:33:00.001-07:00

Ok, here it is. I had to do it sometime. Blog about our upcoming move. I just recently started this blog, so I'm not really letting the cat out of the bag here, announcing a big move to my readers. If you read this, you probably know me pretty well and know already that there's a big move on our horizon. But I think I need to do it for me.

At the end of July, our family of six will be embarking on a new adventure. Or a past adventure revisited in a new way or something. Moving to a place very far from here, but where we've lived before. My husband is very excited about the job opportunity. And I'm supportive and excited for him. I know there are new adventures for our family and we have extended family there (sadly a few hours away though)... and we might even be able to buy a house for the first time, which is something I've always hoped to do. It's a nice place to live. And I know God will provide a church and friends and it will be a good thing. But I have to admit, I'm super sad to be moving away from here.

Our town is not the loveliest of towns. I'm quite certain it's never topped a list of great places to live. But the people here are amazing and I'm going to miss them with all of my heart. We're leaving behind three sisters, three brothers-in-law, eight nieces and a nephew, my mom and her husband, and a whole lot of "family" that we're not technically related to.

I grew up here and started going to our church about 20 years ago. The church became family in my teen years when my own family was falling apart. This family has embraced my husband and our kids, and we've had such special friendships with people here. The girlfriends that I have here are amazing. Each one is so precious to me. Each one, I believe, hand picked by God to create a beautiful bouquet of friendship. We've laughed together, cried together, worshipped together and prayed together. We've been roommates on retreats, served in ministry together, and have seen each other through many, many ups and downs. I've even pulled out their kids' teeth. We've cooked and cleaned for and with each other, played cards, welcomed new life and grieved losses. Friendship just doesn't get any sweeter. I'm going to miss them so much.

And the sisters. Oh my goodness, the sisters (sister-in-law included). I know that distance can't really separate sisters, but I will so miss the closeness in distance that we have now. My kids' cousins are their best friends. I'm so sad that they won't be in each others' face-to-face-on-a-regular-basis lives. I really haven't let myself think about this very deeply yet. I'm afraid if I let myself start crying, I might not be able to stop. When we moved back here 9 years ago, I really thought it was permanent. We talked about Brooklyn and her cousin Josh going to prom together. My niece Emily will be getting her drivers license in a couple of years, and probably a boyfriend at some point. I wanted to be here for things like that. I love that I can call my sister when one of my kids needs a ride somewhere or to go get coffee or go to a movie. Or visit my Santa Cruz and Monterey sisters for day trips or meeting them at parks half way between our homes for play days. (Or have them call when their car breaks down and they need a ride and a place to stay for the night!) There's no doubt in my mind that we'll still be close, but I'm so sad that I won't be able to see them regularly.

I don't mean for it to sound like I'm totally against this move. I'm not. I was part of the decision making process. And I decided I want a happy husband. He deserves to be happy in his work and he's super good at what he does. He's very talented and creative, and being in a job like he was in was sucking the life (and joy) out of him. So I'm really excited for him. And I'm looking forward to other things about the move too. Maybe I'll make a list and blog about those things another day. But at the same time, I need to grieve the loss of what we're leaving behind, because I think that's important too.

I'm confident that we'll be fine when we get there. I totally trust that God will provide a church family and friends for us. It won't be the same as what we have here, but it will be good in a new way. I'm sure it will take some time, but I'm willing to be patient. And I'm sure our family unit will get even closer in the process. I read a book once that had a line I'll never forget. I don't remember the title or the author of the book, but it said, "It's amazing what God can do with a broken heart when given all the pieces." I'll be leaving here broken, but God will have every piece of my brokenness and He'll turn it into something good.

Curves

2008-05-16T14:08:00.001-07:00

I just joined Curves. Last week I put a picture on my flickr site which showed my weakness for ice cream and explained my weight loss plan: to eat up all the ice cream in the house and then not buy more. If only it were that simple! I realize that I gave birth just two and a half months ago, but my baby weight seems to be hanging on longer than usual this time. Maybe its my age. But probably not. When I had Mercy, Brooklyn and Zeke went to school down the street from our house, and I walked them to school and then up the big hill home everyday. I also did some weight lifting at home. It wasn't long before I was back to pre-pregnancy weight after I had her, without really trying. This time, we're homeschooling and having a toddler who needs a nap everyday for a few hours after lunch, I don't always get out and get moving. I had never before considered joining Curves, but last month, a friend from church who works for Curves came to speak to our MOPS group and she made it sound really fun. She also gave us each a free trial week to check it out, so I decided to give it a try. Yesterday I went to meet with the owner and made an appointment for this morning. It was really fun! I like that you do each station in 30 second periods and I loved the machines. The time flew by and the other women there were really nice. I was a little nervous before I went, but I left wishing they'd be open tomorrow so I could go back right away. I don't have curves yet. I'd probably describe my shape as scalloped right now. Judah is our last baby. I know I have the rest of my life to get in shape, so I'm not obsessing about it. But it feels good to exercise, and it's nice to get out of the house first thing in the morning. I came home refreshed and ready for the day. We're also looking for a bike trailer so we can get riding again. Brooklyn and Zeke love riding bikes, and Joe and I do too. Lately we haven't been able to do much more than riding up and down our street, a few of us at a time, while one parent stays back with the little ones or walks along with a stroller. But we'll get a trailer or a bike seat for them and we can all go on two wheeled adventures again.

Mothers Day

2008-05-11T06:51:00.001-07:00

The other day I stumbled upon a blog that I really enjoyed. I have to admit, I've been disappointed on many a Mothers Day in the past. Like I expect my family to drop everything and spend the entire day showing me how great I am, showing that they notice all the little things I do for them every day. I don't expect gifts. But I have longed for recognition and appreciation. This year I was feeling different. I decided to spend the day just enjoying being a mother. Enjoying all four of the children God has blessed us with, and just being thankful for having been chosen to be their mom. And when I read the mentioned blog, I realized I was not alone. And she had some great ideas. Judah is being dedicated in church this morning, which means we'll be on stage. Not that anyone will be looking particularly at me (we're one of 11 families with new babies since January at our church, and all are being dedicated today!), or that it would matter if they did. But since I've been lagging in losing my baby weight more this time than ever and most of my clothes still don't fit very well, I saw it as an opportunity to get something new to wear. We've been very budget conscious lately, so while at Walmart grocery shopping one day, I headed over to the clothing section and bought myself a new top. I think it was $12 or something. So I already started my Mothers Day right.. I can feel pretty-ish for the day, and not feel guilty about breaking the bank. Then, after reading that other mom's blog, I decided to buy a special dessert when I was out yesterday. And then I came home and got some chicken out of the freezer. So instead of expecting a lot of fanfare, I'm just going to relax and enjoy my family. I'm sure Joe will grill the chicken for us, and I'll bet Brooklyn will be more than happy to scrub some potatoes and throw them in the oven. She'd probably even be into making a salad. And if not, it's something I can quickly do and then go back to just relaxing. And the yummy dark chocolatey cheesecakes will be ready for us when dinner's over. It is a happy Mothers Day.

I wish I could see my mom today. I tried to send her flowers but got the address wrong so they won't get there until tomorrow. I remember when we were young, my sisters and I would try to sneak out early in the morning on Mothers Day to pick her flowers. I bet she didn't feel very appreciated in those years (though I know she enjoyed the flowers). She sacrificed a lot. As a Navy wife, she had to hold down the fort while our dad was away on his submarine. And she had to deal with all the moves across country every year or two. That must have been hard. I admire so many things about her mothering when we were young. One of the most memorable things is that each morning, we'd wake up to find all the cereal boxes arranged on the table for us so we could pour our own breakfast into our bowls. She sat nearby, with her coffee and her Bible. Spending time with Jesus, and quietly making a statement to us about what was important. She modeled being a godly wife and mom in her daily living.

Happy Mothers Day to any mom who might be reading this. I hope your day is great and that you can spend your day just enjoying being a mom, with all the ups and downs, joys and duties.

Common Grounds

2008-05-06T13:40:00.002-07:00

Common Grounds , originally uploaded by jjbzmjfam.

I've been involved in lots of ministries over the years. I've been a youth leader, Sunday School teacher, and nursery worker. I've been in several countries on missions trips and prayed with people at altars. I've made many a meal for families with new babies. I've done dramas, served food at funeral meals, and been in leadership for the marriage ministry. I'm on the steering team for our MOPS group, I've been a speaker at retreats. I was in choir and even had a strange singing role in a Singing Christmas Tree several years ago ("ate so much that I feel like a cow, cow, cow!"). But my favorite ministry I've ever been involved in is working in Common Grounds, the coffee shop at our church. It used to be a shed outside, which I fondly called "the coffee shack". I love coffee and I love people. There's something about putting the two together that I get such joy from. This morning I was in Starbucks and noticed a pamphlet from T-mobile. The cover said "Connect over coffee". And that's what happens when those magic little beans do their thing. There's just comfort in that aroma. At the beginning of the year, our church opened a new coffee shop. No longer are we just a shed outside. We have a full counter with all the tools of the trade, and tables and even a couch for people to sit with their warm goodness in a cup and connect. That's where the name came from. We're all about relationships, and we wanted to create a place where people could connect in a non-threatening way, a place to find what they have in common, to relate in a real, non churchy way. I have the pleasure of working the first Sunday of each month, and on Wednesday nights. I love being there, getting to know people and chatting for a few minutes while they patiently wait for me to finish their drinks. I've learned what a lot of them like and can start their drinks before they even order. I love that. It's like the guy at Baskin Robbins who knows my favorite ice cream flavors. You feel special when someone takes the time to know you, and know what you like. That's how I want to be with people who come to Common Grounds. You really don't have to be preaching a sermon or teaching a class to reach out to someone. Sometimes just serving them a cup of coffee with a smile is exactly what they need.

2008-05-01T23:23:00.001-07:00

Two weeks ago our fourth baby was born. The birth was amazing. I had him at home in a waterbirth tub. Both of our boys were born this way. It's just coincidence that our girls were born in hospitals. Each birth was special. Each time a precious life joined our family. We are truly blessed. I have to admit though, I'm tired. We had our first baby just days before I turned 25. Now she's 10....

... That was the beginning of a blog entry I started a few weeks ago. I don't remember now why I never got a chance to finish. Sadly, there are other things these days that I start and forget to finish. Like laundry.

I have a friend who had her fifth baby a few months before I had our fourth. She had always wanted six, but after number five, she kept saying "I'm getting too old for this!". I thought that was silly. She's a few years younger than me, and I felt great. I had another wonderful pregnancy. I truly love being pregnant, and even enjoy labor and delivery. It's so amazing and incredible. But afterwards, I feel it. Especially this time. Another amazing birth experience, but the contracting uterus pains afterwards (for several days) were not fun. And engorgement was not so good either. It took until just recently for my little guy to have a good latch so that it finally doesn't hurt so much when I feed him. We decided even before he was born that this was our "fourth and final". And I'm ok with that. I love being a mom. I love that each of our kids has their own personality and gifts. Brooklyn is our creative one. Our planner. You throw out an idea and she'll run with it, planning out every detail. Zeke is thoughtful and sensitive, and also very athletic. He loves skateboarding, and I just learned from watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition last week, that he's into le parkour. There's actually a name for all the crazy jumping, spinning moves he does around the house. Mercy is a bundle of joy and energy. And she's at that age where she's always saying something that I should be writing down. Like the other night when she tried to climb a tree. She didn't get very far, but then she backed away and looked up at it and proclaimed, "MY God made that tree!" Judah is very sweet and mellow. He's starting to smile and trying to make sounds and talk to us. But mostly he still sleeps, and when he's awake, he's very content.

Little Judah is now two months old, and I think I'm getting the hang of this, having four kids. I'm not always on time anymore, and grocery shopping with all of them is not my favorite, but life is good. More correctly, God is good. He's been so sweet to me, answering so many big and simple prayers. I'm not a great mom. I forget things and loose my temper and don't always have clean socks for them to wear. But I love them with all my heart and am trying to savor every moment I have with them.