you can learn a lot from a hermit crab.

My sister got an email today and I asked her to forward it to me so I could share it here.  Unfortunately, the two hermit crabs pictured above are no longer with us.  Kermit (rainbow shell) died before we left Minnesota, and Santa (red butterfly shell) froze the first night of our travels because we forgot to bring her in to our hotel. 

Good lesson here though.

-Personal Word of Challenge - Are You Satisfied In Ministry?
Over the past years, I have determined to constantly be on the lookout for the Lord's leading, direction, and word even in the most unusual situations. During our business meeting, God specifically challenged me with a word that He impressed on my heart was for you.

We often find ourselves in places or situations in which we believe that we could be doing something better or more constructive with our time. I know that in the busyness of my daily schedule, every moment counts. Well, this past Sunday evening was our church's annual business meeting. Though necessary and extremely important to the operation of the body, it does often lack a certain appeal for most. Some might find themselves echoing Nathanael's words from John 1:46 where he asked, "Nazareth! Can anything good come from there?" Some might say, "A business meeting! Can anything good come from there?" Well, check this out.

Upon opening the meeting, Pastor John shared this illustration. "The hermit crab, in order to live, must continue to change its shell. However, as it makes the move to change its shell, he becomes exposed. He risks being eaten. As he gets older, he begins to enjoy the safety and comfort of this last shell so he does not make the change to a new shell. And the shell that keeps him comfortable is the very thing that kills him because his body has been squeezed to death."

Be challenged to Never Become Satisfied! Never become satisfied with your understanding of the scripture. Never become satisfied with the level of relationship you have with your Heavenly Father. Never become satisfied with the level of spiritual growth you see in the lives of those to whom you are ministering. It's okay to want more! You read that correctly. In this case, God wants you to want more! And, God wants to give you more!

Isaiah 54:2-3 says, "Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes for you will spread out to the right and to the left."

I'm sure you have heard the adage "Us Four and No More." Sometimes we become so satisfied with where we are, what we are doing, and how we are doing it that we never realize we have developed the hermit-crab mentality of safety which eventually will lead us to our own demise.

Seek God this week for ways that you can enlarge your tent. Do not hold back. With ALL of your heart, soul, mind, and strength, do ALL for the glory of God. Place all you do into His hands and He will cause your plans to succeed! (Mark 12:30, 1 Corinthians 10:31, Proverbs 16:3)

Pastor Gary R. Linn

incredible gift

First of all, I have to PRAISE GOD and share with you that Joe got a phone call yesterday from.. his new boss...  He got the job!!!  And he's so excited about it!  Not only will he be doing what he loves (which he did here too) but also working in a great area, and with so much freedom to be himself, be innovative and expand in new ways.  So starting in March, if you're in the San Francisco area and want a tattoo, let me know and I'll give you all the info.  He's also working on some painting videos that he'll start selling through his website, and has a couple of series paintings that are super cool.  In the words of our nine year old Zeke, "I think Dad pretty much got the job because his art rocks."

I'm also writing this today because I'm feeling so thankful for all that God has done.  Joe was disappointed that things didn't go the way he was hoping at the shop here, but feels like if he hadn't come, he'd always wonder "what if", and he says that he probably needed this to give him the push to expand his art and try new things (He'll be putting together an art show with other artists hopefully in a few months too).  

I honestly feel like we've been given such an incredible gift.  I have never felt so loved than I have this past year.  A lot of times we wait until we're at someone's funeral to talk about how much they meant to us.  After all the kindness that's been shown, all the meaningful words spoken, all the love poured out, I feel like someone could just toss my ashes out a window on the freeway when I'm gone and be done with it.  They don't need to gather and share memories or say nice things about me when I'm gone because they've done it for me, with me, this last year.  Old friends, new friends.  I just feel so full.  To think back at how sad I was writing this first post about our move... I knew without a doubt that God would carry me through it.  But He hugely exceeded my expectations in every way.  It's been so amazing.  And I can honestly say... worth every tear.

peace

I was driving home last night, listening to the radio, which was set to Joe's favorite Air 1.  Thelma Wells came on for a Life Change Moment.  I have grown to love Thelma through hearing her speak at Women of Faith events over the years and reading her devotionals.  You can hear some of her story here or visit her website here.  There's something so soothing about her voice and I love to hear her read God's Word.  On the radio moment, she talked about peace and read John 14:27 from the New Living Translation.  

I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid.

We are packing up our house this week-- again.  We just moved here less than six months ago.  It was heart-wrenching to leave our former home (family, church, friends, area), but we knew that God was with us and I was confident that He would carry us through the transition.  He far exceeded my hopes in every way.  He came before us, provided people to help us unload our uhaul when we first got here, brought us closer as a family, and led us to a new church family that has become very dear to us.  I thought that after we settled in here, I'd just have some really sweet alone times with God and enjoy my family in this new area.  I have done those things, but what I never expected was to fall in love with so many new people so quickly.  

Things did not go the way we had expected or hoped with Joe's job, and he was let go about two weeks before Christmas.  Since then we have been praying and seeking God to guide us for our next step.  Joe has really stepped up in being the spiritual leader in our home and I have so much respect and appreciation for how he has handled the situation.  It would be natural and understandable to freak out, be angry, maybe even depressed.  But Joe has stood his ground and sought after God and rested in His perfect peace.  We really haven't been anxious about it all... just trusting God to lead us and knowing that He has a plan.  We really can't question why He would move us this far only to bring us back again.  We can see His handiwork in the whole thing, and I'm sure there's much more that we'll look back on later and realize.

One week from today (if all goes according to plan), we will be on our way again, driving across several states, back to California.  We don't have a place of our own to live yet (but my very gracious sister and her family are generously making room for us).  Joe has two temporary guest artist spots in shops in Monterey and the East Bay for the month of February, and then a more permanent position in San Francisco starting in March (that one is 99% a sure thing at this point.. he should know later this week... please pray with us about that one).  

Through it all, we've been so thankful for God's peace.  Peace of mind and heart, like the verse above says.  When you're under the shadow of His wings, it really doesn't matter if the world around you is chaotic.  He has us covered and He'll lead us, keeping us close through it all.

16 things and Taking Flight

I have a new favorite book.  Really I have two new favorite books.  One of them the fabulous All I Need is Jesus and a Good Pair of Jeans, by Susanna Foth Aughtmon, of Confessions of a Tired Supergirl, which I'm giving away here.  (Winner will be chosen at random tonight... it's not too late to enter!)

My other new favorite, I've had my eye on for a while and purchased it a couple nights ago.  I'm trying to let go of inhibitions and create things.  I think I might just have a teeny bit of art hidden somewhere inside that would love to get out but doesn't really know how.  So one of the things I'm wanting to push myself to do this year is to just do it.  No worries about whether it's right or wrong, good or bad.  Just try new things and experiment and develop my own style.  I started an art journal last week, which was a good start... but I was so intimidated by the blank page that I left it pretty boring.  I like simple, and I think it stated where I was (am), but I feel like I could have added more but was afraid I'd ruin it.  

Anyway, my other new favorite book is called Taking Flight.  Inspirations and Techniques to give your creative spirit wings.  I bought it because I really liked the artwork.  I love collage and want to do more mixed media pieces.  What I didn't expect was to be so encouraged and built up.  I actually cried as I was reading it yesterday morning (and I'm not pregnant.  Tired and needing my baby to sleep more at night, yes.  But this book really touched me).  

And I was so excited to find the author, Kelly Rae Roberts' blog.  Reading the book and her blog, I am finding that we have some things in common.  Her name is Kelly and her sister's name is Jennifer.  My name is Jenny and I have a sister named Kelly!  She apparently has relocated sometime somewhat recently, and our family has made a major move (soon to be twice.. more later) in the last six months.  There were a few other things too, and since I'm feeling so friendly with her, I thought I'd take the 16 things challenge from her blog.  (We're friends, so she was asking me, right?)

So here we go.. 16 random-ish things...

1.  Judah just woke up from a very short nap.

2.  I really wish he'd go back to sleeping through the night like he did for his first eight months.

3.  I really really love coffee.

4.  We're going as a family to see Marley and Me today.  

5.  We've already heard about what happens to Marley.

6.  I really don't know how people in Minnesota survive year after year in these sub-human temperatures (30 BELOW zero here this morning!).

7.  But I'm going to miss this place.

8.  That said, I'm also really excited to get back to the Bay Area.

9.  I wish I'd never stopped taking piano lessons when I was a kid.

10.  Though I would love a little more stability right now, I totally respect and admire my husband's drive, determination and risk taking in following his dreams.

11.  I love to travel.

12.  I also love food.  All kinds.  

13.  My sisters are amazing, encouraging and inspiring.

14.  I also have amazing friends.  I feel so blessed.

15.  I'm very competitive when it comes to playing games.

16.  I grew up as a military brat.  It was hard at times, but I have great memories of a happy childhood.  I love my family.

word of the year

A week into the new year, still reflecting, still looking forward.  I liked the idea I saw over on tip junkie about having a word of the year.  I often have a theme verse for a season, and sometimes theme words just come to me as God is teaching me... through sermons, songs, verses and life.  Like a few years ago, when He was teaching me about His MERCY.. what an incredible gift.  (And where our little Mercy got her name.)  And then there was a season of PRAISE.  Praising Him through it all.. the pleasant, the difficult... fighting through praise, finding strength through praise.  And then Judah came along.  His name means praise.  So does Brooklyn's, by the way.  Which is awesome.  Ezekiel means strength.  That's not my word for the year, but I thought you might like to know, and didn't want to leave him out.

This year's word (or at least my word until God shows me another one) is SAVOR.  I'll have to admit that this one didn't happen upon me like the others did, in a more spiritual way.. But as I was thinking about this past year, and looking forward to what might be ahead, I was asking myself what I really want for this year.  And I really want to savor it all.  I've been in a savoring state since last year, leading up to our big move from California.  I really wanted to savor everything and every moment with family and friends.  And coming to Minnesota, I wanted to really experience it for all I could, and I've been enjoying and savoring as much as possible here.  And the kids (wait.. don't you just love that in a blog, there are no real grammar rules, and you can start a sentence with And when you really want to?).. anyway.. Our kids are growing and changing all the time and I don't want to let a minute of it go by without noticing, savoring each step.  

So I decided that would be my word for the year.  SAVOR.  I need to find a fitting verse to go along with it.  I also like that it can be referenced with food because I really love food.  And maybe I should apply it to food too.  Sometimes we eat just to eat, and munch on something while we're multitasking doing other things.  But isn't it so much better when we pay attention to each bite and really enjoy it?  Here's an example.  I love Oreos.  I don't usually buy them because I've been known to eat an entire sleeve in a sitting.  If they were chips or popcorn, that much might be acceptable.. but not Oreos.  So on the rare occasion that we do have them, I'll give myself a nice little stack of three.  And then I'm also online or reading or something and all of a sudden my stack is gone when I thought I had one more.  I always end up wishing I would have savored it before it was gone (so I end up going back for one more and totally enjoy each bite).  

But with real life, we're not usually given the chance to go back for one more.  Your three year old's snuggly moments are over and now she's off to run and jump and play.  Your husband's day off was spent running errands and now it's over (and it's great to go to the grocery store without having four kids in tow, but time together needs to be priority too).  You have so many things that you want to get done during the little ones' nap time but you miss the opportunity to spend good quality time with your older ones.

SAVOR.  I want to make the most of every opportunity and experience each new step to the fullest.  Now I'm off to savor a cup of coffee.  

Here's to a savory year!  (I could get really cheesy with this... and probably will.)

more Scripture memory

A new year. A fresh start. A clean slate. A future wide open. I've been contemplating things I'd like to do differently in 2009, things I'd like to do more of, and things I'd like to continue doing. I'll make a list at some point.. but I decided not to make it a list of resolutions, but rather of goals for the year. At the very top of my list is memorizing more Scripture. God's Word is alive and active and so powerful... when we use it. But to use it, we have to know it. I want His Word hidden in my heart. There are lots of verses I've memorized over the years that are like lifelines to me. There are so many more hidden in The Word that I really want to commit to memory. So I was thrilled to discover on Beth Moore's blog that she invited her readers "siestas" to join in one big accountability group and memorize Bible verses together. You can check it out here and here... and join in!

The verse I chose first was sent to me in an email this morning by my womens ministries pastor at our old church, in response to a request for prayer for my husband as he is seeking employment, wisdom and direction right now.  (We'd appreciate your prayers too.)

Jeremiah 33:3  Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.  (NIV)

And the Message Bible states it this way:  Call to me and I will answer you.  I'll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.

I also like the verse Beth chose to start with:

Isaiah 33:6  He is your constant source of stability; He abundantly provides safety and great wisdom; He gives all this to those who fear Him.  (NET)

all I have to give

Today is Saturday, usually cleaning day at our house.  I was listening to Christmas music via Pandora this morning as I swept and mopped the kitchen.  A song came on that I hadn't heard before.  Maybe you have.. it was "This is All I Have to Give" by Todd Agnew.  And it was a song from Joseph's perspective, about feeling unworthy of being the one to raise Jesus.  He wished he could have built Him a cradle, but instead He was laid in a manger.  He felt that Jesus deserved more than he could offer, but at the same time, Joseph was more than willing to give what he could.  I hadn't thought that much about Joseph feeling inadequate before.  I love the movie "The Nativity Story" and I remember one part, when Mary and Joseph were talking, and he said, "will I be able to teach him anything?".  And I think a lot of us can relate.  How often are we given tasks that we feel inadequate or unworthy of?  Maybe a job, a ministry, a situation, parenting, etc.  But just like we probably think that Joseph was more than the right man for the job and God's obvious choice... He also gives us the grace and strength for each task He calls us to (and thinks we're the perfect choice for).  How many times in Scripture did someone feel inadequate and God simply asked, "what's in your hand?"?  (I'm thinking that's not correct grammar there... where does the question mark go?)  Anyway, He never asks us to do more than He's already equipped us for.  Sure He stretches us, but He doesn't ask us to be someone we're not.  He just wants us to offer Him all that we have, all that we are.  And then He shows up and works in and through us to accomplish His plan.  A few years ago I was at a women's retreat and I drove home in awe of God and how He uses people in different ways.  I have been guilty of comparing talents and gifts, even personalities of others, feeling so blah and boring in the contrast.  But His gentle but firm voice spoke to my heart and asked, "Why do you despise who I made you to be?".  Ouch.  He makes each of us different, which is a good thing.  I love diversity and appreciate the personalities and skills of others.  We're not made to be like anyone else.  And who are we to wish we were something other than what He made us to be?  Like Joseph, let's offer all we have to give.  That's the best we can do, and all that He wants. 

bathing buddies/ answered prayer

After blogging about our sad day yesterday, I closed the computer and gave our little ones a bath.  Judah had been chomping on a biter biscuit while I was online, and if you've ever given one of those to a baby, you can imagine how messy he was.  Mercy was due for a bath too, so I put them in together.  This was a first for these two, because Judah has just recently started sitting steadily on his own, and Mercy likes the bath water higher than it could be with just Judah laying down.  She was so excited to take a bath with him!  It was so cute, and a great distraction from the sadness we had been feeling.

As I sat watching these two laughing, splashing and playing together, I was drawn to Judah's big brown eyes.  A lot of people comment on his eyes lately and say things like "he sure has his momma's eyes" or "look at those dark brown eyes!".  And I'm thankful.  God is so sweet to answer silly prayers that pregnant moms like me pray.  When I was pregnant with Brooklyn, I didn't know if we were having a boy or girl, but I was in Target one day and heard a little one talking with the cutest raspy voice.  And I prayed that our baby would have a raspy voice.  She's pretty much grown out of it now, but Brooklyn definitely had a voice like I'd prayed for, for several years.  And when I was expecting Judah, I prayed for brown eyes.  Brooklyn's are brown, Zeke and Mercy both have blue eyes, and this time I prayed for brown again.  He kept us guessing for quite a while.  I remember bringing him to church several times and my friends would gather around, some saying they thought they'd be blue, some thought brown, some just couldn't tell yet.  But now, there's no mistaking this boy's beautiful big brown eyes.  God is so good.

a sad day

Today the sad day came when we had to take Josh back to the airport.  He was with us for almost three weeks, but it went by too fast.  We enjoyed  him so much and made the most of our time together.  We stayed up late last night having last minute fun, and then had to leave at 5:00 this morning to get him to the airport.  Since he was an unaccompanied minor, we were able to wait with him at his gate.  We grabbed some breakfast and spent our last half hour playing a game he taught us.  They started the boarding announcements and the time came to give hugs and say goodbye.  It was so hard on all of us.  I know he had mixed feelings, being away from home for so long, he was ready to get back.. but he was really sad to leave too.  And we were really sad to see him go.  We all cried on our drive home.  We really don't know when we'll see him again.  We're hoping to make a trip back to the Bay Area in the spring, but right now finances are really tight, so it's not a sure thing.

Between sobs, I listened to Frontline's "The Combination" cd and remembered singing my heart out to those songs many times.  There's one song called "Better in the End" (which you can hear on their myspace page).  I love Frontline and this cd and have listened to and sung along often.  I really purpose to be a worshipper who pays attention to the words and sing the songs from my heart.  Today as I listened, when it got to the "I don't want to fear what you may change.  Make Yourself at home in me.  You see the picture of my life... so much better in the end" part, I thought, "really, God?  With this plan it's going to be better in the end?  Because I liked my life before.  Things were going great and You know how much family means to me.  Really, we had to leave all that?"  And I often wonder if we'll go back or if His plan is to keep us here.  It's not that I don't like it here.  I actually do.  And we've been making friends and connecting with great people.  But "what used to be" was amazing too.  I really don't like the idea of being so far away from sisters and cousins and close friends that we have no idea when we'll see them again.  I feel like there's such a huge hole because they're not part of our daily lives anymore.  Yes, we can call and email and Facebook and Skype.  But there's just nothing like cousins getting together and laughing and playing and creating and just being.  Together.  My youngest niece has started walking since we've been gone.  I'm afraid Judah may be walking by the time we see them again.  That's just not ok with me.  Yes I trust God completely with my life and what His plan is.  Yes He's blessed us with an amazing church and people here already.  This is a new church and we're getting plugged in, and it's exciting to be a part of what God is doing there.  But I'm sad today and that's what's coming out here.  This is a good place.  And these are good people.  I just want both.  A couple of weeks ago my kids were doing a floor puzzle of the map of the U.S.  They rearranged things a bit and put Minnesota right next to California.  I liked that idea.  I think I'd even overlap them so we could be neighbors.  My God is a good God.  I know that His plan is to prosper and not to harm us.  I know that this is a grieving process and I'm so thankful that He knows me and lets me cry it out and holds me through it all.

uprooted

What a weekend!  The last several days I have been very sad and missing family and friends.  We're getting more settled here and today's our first day of school, so with that means new routines.  I guess it hit me that these routines don't include the people and places that our old routines included.  It also hit me that the ministries and "outlets" that I was involved in on a weekly basis there are no longer a part of what I do or who I am.  I was feeling sad and disconnected.  

 

Joe and I were looking online a couple of weeks ago for a "NOR * CAL" decal for our car, knowing that soon the unfortunate day will come when we have to trade in our California license plates for Minnesota ones.  We decided to get a norcal sticker so there's still a representation of where we're from.  While on the website I saw this "uprooted" t-shirt and Joe said I could order it.  It came last Friday, when I was in the midst of heartache.  The lovely poppies and their long, scraggly roots.  I felt uprooted, yanked up from my homeland, torn away from people who know and understand and love me.  I didn't want to tell Joe much about my sorrow because I didn't want him to feel bad.  I wasn't blaming him or anything... just very sad.

On Saturday Joe's mom called to let us know she just found out that a friend Joe grew up with in church had recently started a church just 10 miles from where we live now.  She didn't have any other information but we looked it up online and found where it meets and the time of the service, and decided to go.  So Sunday morning, I was full of emotion as we drove to this new place of worship.  It's just hard finding a new church.  Especially when you're so sad to have left your old one.  But we drove up to this beautiful log building on a golf course where the church meets and followed the signs to where the kids would go.  The children's staff was very nice and welcoming, and Brooklyn and Zeke quickly made their way toward the kids church area.  Mercy, on the other hand, was holding me tightly, saying, "I don't want to go to my class!"  We took her over to some very kind ladies in the nursery, and one of them reached her arms out and said, "Can I hold you?"  Mercy nodded and went to her, snuggling in to rest her head on her shoulder.  I was almost in  tears myself leaving her, and then Joe and I (with Judah) made our way into the service.

We walked in and in the back of the room there was a coffee shop!  I lost it!  I couldn't keep the tears in anymore.  I cried through most of the songs and the rest of the service.  But it was good.  God was there, and He was reminding me I was in His presence and that's the bet place to be.  The last song we sang at the end was "Better is one day in Your courts, better is one day in Your house, better is one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere..."  And I realized that if I'm really honest, I'd much rather be in His presence here than in Vallejo without Him.  And then the pastor read from Psalm 84:

"How lovely is Your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty!  My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.  Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young-- a place near Your altar, O Lord Almighty, my King and my God.  Blessed are those who dwell in Your house; they are ever praising You."

Later that afternoon, Brooklyn got out an old jar that was chipped and asked if she could have it to put dirt in and then pick flowers to put inside.  I told her that the flowers would die if she did that.  I said they have to be uprooted so they can grow.  As I said the words, I caught myself and remembered the t-shirt.  Uprooted.  I was doing just fine where we were, growing, even flourishing.  But God had plans to move us to another garden.  I'm so thankful He didn't just let me be plucked up, snapped from the stem.  Because of His love, I was uprooted so that I can continue to grow.  His ways are higher than my ways, that's for sure.  But I trust Him completely and I'm glad He cares enough to pull me out from the roots.