choose thankfulness

Three posts in one day!  It's feast or famine around here I guess.  This one's been brewing for about a week, but I wanted to wait until I had this banner finished and hung so I could include a photo.  At a time when there seem to be disappointments all around.. struggling economy, presidential elections that didn't go as we'd hoped (and what that means for 35 years of laws to protect not yet born babies), and things in our own life not going quite as we'd thought for the last few months... We choose thankfulness.  There is so much to be thankful for, in little and big things every single day.  The other night, we sat down as a family (after a few days of feeling really sad about missing home) and we decided to make a list of things that we're thankful for HERE.  And we decided that we're going to focus on these things and enjoy this place to the fullest for whatever time we have here.  We have no idea really if we'll be here for two years or twenty... only God knows for sure.  And while it's okay to miss family and friends (and weather and culture) where we came from, we're choosing to be thankful for what we have here.  Here's what we came up with... ideas submitted from all family members, well all but Judah, in no particular oder:

really nice sink water

extended family being here

playing with neighborhood kids

mornings together

being able to ride bikes and play outside more

new friends

corn field 

playing in the snow

wild rice

Old Creamery Cafe

Caribou Coffee 

Mall of America

opportunities to trust God

the Waters Church

great new church friends

the Christmas play (Brooklyn will be a narrator and Zeke will be "back stage" moving sets)

not having cable tv

geocaching

fun parks

Mississippi River

less traffic

cheaper gas (down to 1.62 yesterday!)

renewed dreams

getting closer as a family

less busy-ness

doing more art/ crafts

all I have to give

Today is Saturday, usually cleaning day at our house.  I was listening to Christmas music via Pandora this morning as I swept and mopped the kitchen.  A song came on that I hadn't heard before.  Maybe you have.. it was "This is All I Have to Give" by Todd Agnew.  And it was a song from Joseph's perspective, about feeling unworthy of being the one to raise Jesus.  He wished he could have built Him a cradle, but instead He was laid in a manger.  He felt that Jesus deserved more than he could offer, but at the same time, Joseph was more than willing to give what he could.  I hadn't thought that much about Joseph feeling inadequate before.  I love the movie "The Nativity Story" and I remember one part, when Mary and Joseph were talking, and he said, "will I be able to teach him anything?".  And I think a lot of us can relate.  How often are we given tasks that we feel inadequate or unworthy of?  Maybe a job, a ministry, a situation, parenting, etc.  But just like we probably think that Joseph was more than the right man for the job and God's obvious choice... He also gives us the grace and strength for each task He calls us to (and thinks we're the perfect choice for).  How many times in Scripture did someone feel inadequate and God simply asked, "what's in your hand?"?  (I'm thinking that's not correct grammar there... where does the question mark go?)  Anyway, He never asks us to do more than He's already equipped us for.  Sure He stretches us, but He doesn't ask us to be someone we're not.  He just wants us to offer Him all that we have, all that we are.  And then He shows up and works in and through us to accomplish His plan.  A few years ago I was at a women's retreat and I drove home in awe of God and how He uses people in different ways.  I have been guilty of comparing talents and gifts, even personalities of others, feeling so blah and boring in the contrast.  But His gentle but firm voice spoke to my heart and asked, "Why do you despise who I made you to be?".  Ouch.  He makes each of us different, which is a good thing.  I love diversity and appreciate the personalities and skills of others.  We're not made to be like anyone else.  And who are we to wish we were something other than what He made us to be?  Like Joseph, let's offer all we have to give.  That's the best we can do, and all that He wants. 

flashback friday

Ok, so it's really Saturday morning.  I meant to do this yesterday.  There are so many weekly bloggy things people do (Memory verse Monday, Works for me Wednesday, Thankful Thursday, Flashback Friday, tons more... just not thinking of them right now).  I decided to do a Flashback Friday picture.  Because I love pictures and remembering.  This may or may not happen every Friday.  In fact, I can pretty much guarantee it won't.  And I may do some of the others now and then.  So here's my flashback for this week...  Sweet Mercy a few months before we moved.  I love this picture.  It reminds me that she had more hair then.. poor sweetie, still pulls at it, mainly when she's tired.  I should make her something with soft fringes or something that she could play with instead.  We'll see if I can come up with something!

baby weight... wait... or not

As I struggled into my jeans this morning, I thought about something I once read.  It said that since it takes nine months to gain the weight when you're expecting a baby, you should give yourself nine months to lose the weight.  Well that would mean that I have until this Saturday to lose 12 pounds.  Not. going. to. happen.  So my first thought was that with the holidays coming and everything, I should just (continue to) forget about it for now and make it a New Years Resolution to lose it by his birthday in February.  But then I thought maybe I could still make that the deadline (goal) but to go ahead and start now.  That gives me three months.  12 pounds divided by three months is four pounds per month.  Or one pound per week.  I can do that.  I think.  If I really try.  I should probably cut back on the chocolate chip pancakes several mornings each week.  And it is getting ridiculously cold here (in the 20s lately).  So I'm going to make a real effort to eat better, and put Wii Fit... and my determination... to the test.  Really it's not even so much the number on the scale.. But I'm really sick of the limited wardrobe I have had since February.  I can't go out and buy new things so I'd really like to fit into my old things again.  Without bubbling out.  So I resolve now to start.. tomorrow.  Because I had a rather large chocolate chip pancake this morning and a tuxedo mocha freeze just a few minutes ago.  Not that I won't indulge now and then.  Because what fun is it to live if you can't indulge?  But in moderation and with a balance of better nutrition and regular exercise.

hands that hold my heart

Made to freeze this moment in time.  I love the little hands.  And the ones not so little anymore.  All working and playing together.  I am thankful.

Idea came from a post on The Crafty Crow.. which, by the way, is a super fun blog with lots of great crafty ideas.

etsy

So... I've been making things for quite a while and up until now, have only made things as gifts... baby blankets mostly, and recently coffee sleeves, with random things thrown in here and there.  A few friends in California encouraged me to sell my blankets, and one friend even offered to sell them in the gift shop she manages at a hospital in Napa.  I just never got around to it, or had the extra time to make things for selling.. I just made them as gifts.  Well, these days, I still don't have the time (maybe even less than before!), but I've been squeezing some crafting in here and there when I can, and am giving the selling thing a go.  I started an etsy site, and posted some things today.  I have more to post, but my photos were too large, so I'll have to take more pics tomorrow and try uploading again so I can finish listing the things I've made so far.  I may even contact that friend back in Napa about making some blankets and coffee sleeves (I'm calling them "green sleeves") to sell there.  Not sure what will come of it, but money is super tight right now, so I figured I'd give it a try.  Every little bit helps!  If you're interested, you can check out my etsy site.  Here are a few picures of some of the things I've listed there...

first thought

First thought of the morning:  "YAY!!!  My baby is back!!!"

I heard him crying, and looked at the clock.  5:49am!  He did not wake up once during the night!  I was so spoiled, as he'd slept from about 9:00pm until 5:30am since he was about a month old.  The last several weeks have been an entirely different story.  He has been waking up several times a night and I've been exhausted.  Each night as I lay him down and pray for him, I also pray that he'll sleep through the night.  I'm confident that God has heard my prayers each night, but last night, He answered the way I've been waiting for!  Now let's hope we're back to normal!  I'm so thankful!!!

bathing buddies/ answered prayer

After blogging about our sad day yesterday, I closed the computer and gave our little ones a bath.  Judah had been chomping on a biter biscuit while I was online, and if you've ever given one of those to a baby, you can imagine how messy he was.  Mercy was due for a bath too, so I put them in together.  This was a first for these two, because Judah has just recently started sitting steadily on his own, and Mercy likes the bath water higher than it could be with just Judah laying down.  She was so excited to take a bath with him!  It was so cute, and a great distraction from the sadness we had been feeling.

As I sat watching these two laughing, splashing and playing together, I was drawn to Judah's big brown eyes.  A lot of people comment on his eyes lately and say things like "he sure has his momma's eyes" or "look at those dark brown eyes!".  And I'm thankful.  God is so sweet to answer silly prayers that pregnant moms like me pray.  When I was pregnant with Brooklyn, I didn't know if we were having a boy or girl, but I was in Target one day and heard a little one talking with the cutest raspy voice.  And I prayed that our baby would have a raspy voice.  She's pretty much grown out of it now, but Brooklyn definitely had a voice like I'd prayed for, for several years.  And when I was expecting Judah, I prayed for brown eyes.  Brooklyn's are brown, Zeke and Mercy both have blue eyes, and this time I prayed for brown again.  He kept us guessing for quite a while.  I remember bringing him to church several times and my friends would gather around, some saying they thought they'd be blue, some thought brown, some just couldn't tell yet.  But now, there's no mistaking this boy's beautiful big brown eyes.  God is so good.

omelets

(Two posts in one day!  I just uploaded some pictures and thought I'd share them.)

A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting having breakfast with some new friends at a women's retreat (which I should write about later).  We got on the subject of omelets, and one of the girls offered a new method of making them.  I loved the idea and was excited to try it at home.  They were so easy, and a hit with the whole family.  Here's the step-by-step:

First, break desired number of eggs into ziploc bags.  (We used two eggs each, and we used the double zipper bags, for added security during boiling.  This may or may not be necessary.)

Next, add ingredients.  This part was fun for everyone.  We added basic omelet things like cheese, ham, bacon.  I also added onion and tomato to mine.

Then you get to squish it.  Oh.  It's probably obvious, but just in case, I'll say zip the bag closed first.  It would get rather messy if you didn't.  
Squish, squish until everything is well mixed.
Like this.
Oops, I also forgot to say you should start a big pot of boiling water before the first step.  That way the water should be boiling by the time you add the bags.  We did four at a time in our pot.  I guess it depends on the size of your pot.

It took longer than I expected for them to cook.  I think maybe around 20 minutes.  Sorry I don't have an exact time.  Just watch them.  You can tell they're done when the egg looks cooked and no longer runny at all.
Here's our first batch, all finished!
We just opened the bags and plopped them onto a plate (or bowl in this case).
This was a fun breakfast for everyone.  They took a while to cook, but it was nice that everyone got to put in their own ingredients, squish up their bags and add the bags to the water.  It was also nice that as they boiled, we could do other things (like Family Fun Cranium game), and they were ready at the same time.

a sad day

Today the sad day came when we had to take Josh back to the airport.  He was with us for almost three weeks, but it went by too fast.  We enjoyed  him so much and made the most of our time together.  We stayed up late last night having last minute fun, and then had to leave at 5:00 this morning to get him to the airport.  Since he was an unaccompanied minor, we were able to wait with him at his gate.  We grabbed some breakfast and spent our last half hour playing a game he taught us.  They started the boarding announcements and the time came to give hugs and say goodbye.  It was so hard on all of us.  I know he had mixed feelings, being away from home for so long, he was ready to get back.. but he was really sad to leave too.  And we were really sad to see him go.  We all cried on our drive home.  We really don't know when we'll see him again.  We're hoping to make a trip back to the Bay Area in the spring, but right now finances are really tight, so it's not a sure thing.

Between sobs, I listened to Frontline's "The Combination" cd and remembered singing my heart out to those songs many times.  There's one song called "Better in the End" (which you can hear on their myspace page).  I love Frontline and this cd and have listened to and sung along often.  I really purpose to be a worshipper who pays attention to the words and sing the songs from my heart.  Today as I listened, when it got to the "I don't want to fear what you may change.  Make Yourself at home in me.  You see the picture of my life... so much better in the end" part, I thought, "really, God?  With this plan it's going to be better in the end?  Because I liked my life before.  Things were going great and You know how much family means to me.  Really, we had to leave all that?"  And I often wonder if we'll go back or if His plan is to keep us here.  It's not that I don't like it here.  I actually do.  And we've been making friends and connecting with great people.  But "what used to be" was amazing too.  I really don't like the idea of being so far away from sisters and cousins and close friends that we have no idea when we'll see them again.  I feel like there's such a huge hole because they're not part of our daily lives anymore.  Yes, we can call and email and Facebook and Skype.  But there's just nothing like cousins getting together and laughing and playing and creating and just being.  Together.  My youngest niece has started walking since we've been gone.  I'm afraid Judah may be walking by the time we see them again.  That's just not ok with me.  Yes I trust God completely with my life and what His plan is.  Yes He's blessed us with an amazing church and people here already.  This is a new church and we're getting plugged in, and it's exciting to be a part of what God is doing there.  But I'm sad today and that's what's coming out here.  This is a good place.  And these are good people.  I just want both.  A couple of weeks ago my kids were doing a floor puzzle of the map of the U.S.  They rearranged things a bit and put Minnesota right next to California.  I liked that idea.  I think I'd even overlap them so we could be neighbors.  My God is a good God.  I know that His plan is to prosper and not to harm us.  I know that this is a grieving process and I'm so thankful that He knows me and lets me cry it out and holds me through it all.

one's (not) on the way

When I was growing up, we only listened to country music in our house.  My dad was a big fan of Willie Nelson, my mom loved Dolly Parton and Loretta Lynn, and I remember our record rack being full of other favorites such as John Denver, the Oakridge Boys and Alabama.  This morning I had an old Loretta Lynn song going through my mind, "One's on the Way".  I don't remember the whole song, but it's basically about a chaotic house full of kids, and the demands on the mom.  It goes something like, "One needs a huggin, and one needs a cookie, and one's on the way" and "One needs a spankin, and one needs a changin, and one's on the way".  Ooh, I just found a video on youtube.  Right now I have seven kids in the house.  My sister (aka Bitzy the Clown) went to Russia on a missions trip.  She'll be visiting orphanages, spreading joy and the love of Jesus with children.  While she's gone, her kids are here.  Two nieces, ages 15 and 13, and a nephew, age 11 are with us.  The girls have to go back early because they're involved in a youth theater program and need to be there for auditions.  My nephew will be with us for two more weeks.  We're having lots of fun with them.  I'm enjoying having 7 kids in the house!  But this morning I had to laugh as that song went through my head.  In our case, it was more like 

One needs a calculator, one needs a tissue.  One needs a changin, one needs a towel, one needs some Motrin, one needs a nap, one needs a pancake....  The difference here is there's not one on the way!  And really, it's not so chaotic.  It's going really well.  The older cousins help the younger ones, and everyone has been getting along great.  It's been so nice to have a little piece of home here with us.  Sadly, tomorrow is our last day with the girls.  Then they'll spend the weekend with their uncle (their dad's brother) before flying home to California on Sunday morning.  It's nice to have a house full.  We're enjoying every minute together.  We spent time at the Mall of America after we picked them up from the airport, going on rides and celebrating Brooklyn's birthday.  We've played the game "Mafia" a lot, gone for walks and bike rides, church, library, done some cooking and smoothie making, they all helped Joe mow the lawn, they're doing school together, board games, Wii, and just enjoying being together.  I even let them sneak into the corn field behind our house one day.  They're great kids to have around.  I think our house will be strangely quiet when they're gone.

baby talk

Sitting here on the couch with my two girls and my sweet baby boy.  Zeke was in the shower, Mercy was on my lap, Judah was laying next to me, holding my fingers while Brooklyn read a library book to us.  Judah is a pretty quiet little guy, but he bursted out with what really, really sounded like "Brooklyn".  We stopped and looked at each other with wide eyes, thinking "Did you just hear what I heard?" and "Did he just say what I think he just said?"  We all talked to Judah and asked him to say it again, and I kid you not, he did.  It sounded pretty clearly like "Brooklyn".  Just to be sure, Brooklyn asked him to say it one more time.  It took a little while, but he did it.  That was quite a gift to his big sister.  Her eyes and smile were so wide with love and excitement.  And so it will go down in the books that Judah's first word was "Brooklyn".

first week of school

We just finished our first week of school.  We're adjusting to a different schedule this year.  Since Joe works from noon until 8:00pm, we take the mornings off to be with him.  We start school at around 11:30, take a lunch break after a couple of subjects, put Mercy down for a nap, and get the rest of our school day done while she's asleep (which makes it easier).  It's a different schedule to get used to, as before we always enjoyed being done by lunch time.  But it is nice to have the mornings off, and we've just started a running program.  So a couple of days this week we've put Judah and Mercy in the bike trailer/stroller and Joe and I run/walk while Brooklyn and Zeke ride bikes, scooter or skateboard alongside us.  During the school part of our day, Judah sleeps for a while, then hangs out with us.  He's pretty mellow and content.  Yesterday he was sitting with Brooklyn while she worked on her math drill.

Brooklyn has been so excited for weeks because she asked if she could teach Mercy preschool this year.  She even went shopping with me the week before school started to a teacher supply store and bought some things with her own money that she could use for teaching Mercy.  Mercy loves the one on one time, and I use the time to do Language Arts with Zeke. 

When Zeke and I finish, he plays with Mercy while I work with Brooklyn individually.  It works out great.

We're enjoying our studies on Exploring Countries and Cultures.  This week and next we're studying about maps and globes, and getting ready for our trip around the world through books and food.  I'm really excited to try new recipes for each area we learn about.  My sister is going to Russia in a few weeks on a missions trip (and I get her kids while she's gone.. Yay!!!).  It will be fun to be learning about and praying for Russia while she's there.  This week we drew the continents on an orange and then tried (unsuccessfully, unfortunately) to peel it in a way that we could flatten it out, to show how map makers have to distort things a little to put a round world on flat paper.  The kids also filled out passport applications and we took pictures for them, so they'll have passports to stamp for each country we visit.  They also learned about scale and made maps of their rooms, measuring everything and transferring it from feet to inches for the map.  They love the activities that we're doing.  It definitely makes learning fun.

Here are a couple of pictures of our school room.  We each have a table for individual work, and lots of floor space for reading together, activities, etc.

uprooted

What a weekend!  The last several days I have been very sad and missing family and friends.  We're getting more settled here and today's our first day of school, so with that means new routines.  I guess it hit me that these routines don't include the people and places that our old routines included.  It also hit me that the ministries and "outlets" that I was involved in on a weekly basis there are no longer a part of what I do or who I am.  I was feeling sad and disconnected.  

 

Joe and I were looking online a couple of weeks ago for a "NOR * CAL" decal for our car, knowing that soon the unfortunate day will come when we have to trade in our California license plates for Minnesota ones.  We decided to get a norcal sticker so there's still a representation of where we're from.  While on the website I saw this "uprooted" t-shirt and Joe said I could order it.  It came last Friday, when I was in the midst of heartache.  The lovely poppies and their long, scraggly roots.  I felt uprooted, yanked up from my homeland, torn away from people who know and understand and love me.  I didn't want to tell Joe much about my sorrow because I didn't want him to feel bad.  I wasn't blaming him or anything... just very sad.

On Saturday Joe's mom called to let us know she just found out that a friend Joe grew up with in church had recently started a church just 10 miles from where we live now.  She didn't have any other information but we looked it up online and found where it meets and the time of the service, and decided to go.  So Sunday morning, I was full of emotion as we drove to this new place of worship.  It's just hard finding a new church.  Especially when you're so sad to have left your old one.  But we drove up to this beautiful log building on a golf course where the church meets and followed the signs to where the kids would go.  The children's staff was very nice and welcoming, and Brooklyn and Zeke quickly made their way toward the kids church area.  Mercy, on the other hand, was holding me tightly, saying, "I don't want to go to my class!"  We took her over to some very kind ladies in the nursery, and one of them reached her arms out and said, "Can I hold you?"  Mercy nodded and went to her, snuggling in to rest her head on her shoulder.  I was almost in  tears myself leaving her, and then Joe and I (with Judah) made our way into the service.

We walked in and in the back of the room there was a coffee shop!  I lost it!  I couldn't keep the tears in anymore.  I cried through most of the songs and the rest of the service.  But it was good.  God was there, and He was reminding me I was in His presence and that's the bet place to be.  The last song we sang at the end was "Better is one day in Your courts, better is one day in Your house, better is one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere..."  And I realized that if I'm really honest, I'd much rather be in His presence here than in Vallejo without Him.  And then the pastor read from Psalm 84:

"How lovely is Your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty!  My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.  Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young-- a place near Your altar, O Lord Almighty, my King and my God.  Blessed are those who dwell in Your house; they are ever praising You."

Later that afternoon, Brooklyn got out an old jar that was chipped and asked if she could have it to put dirt in and then pick flowers to put inside.  I told her that the flowers would die if she did that.  I said they have to be uprooted so they can grow.  As I said the words, I caught myself and remembered the t-shirt.  Uprooted.  I was doing just fine where we were, growing, even flourishing.  But God had plans to move us to another garden.  I'm so thankful He didn't just let me be plucked up, snapped from the stem.  Because of His love, I was uprooted so that I can continue to grow.  His ways are higher than my ways, that's for sure.  But I trust Him completely and I'm glad He cares enough to pull me out from the roots.

panakuken

recipe handed down from my mother-in-law, Nancy Swanson

(This makes 2 9x13 pans, so you can half the recipe for less people.)

6 eggs, beaten

5 cups milk

3 cups flour

2 tsp salt

2 Tbsp sugar

2 sticks butter

Melt butter and add half to batter.  Put remaining batter in 2 9x13 pans.  Mix all batter ingredients together.  Pour into pans and bake at 375 for 30 minutes or till light brown (it will bubble up).

We usually eat this with brown sugar, strawberries, and sometimes sour cream.  You can also slice apples and lay them on top of the batter before baking, and sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar.

cradle cap

First a little background.. Judah's hair grows in a natural mohawk... long in the middle on top, short everywhere else.  Quite the little rock star without even trying.  

A little more background... Mercy's always pointing out to us his "eye burgers" and picking at them.  She also likes to pull apart his toes and pick at the fuzz.

So this morning, I was picking at his cradle cap and Mercy came over and said, "Mom, Judah have burgers on him mohawk!"

birthday boy

Here's our nine year old!  Zeke had a hard week missing family and friends from the Bay Area, but we did our best to make his birthday special and I think he had a good one.  This picture was taken a few days before his birthday at a local park.   We're still scoping out parks in the area, but so far this one's our favorite.  Notice the fun water play stuff in the background.  

On his birthday, he woke up to a huge birthday greeting across our otherwise barren walls, and had panakkuken for breakfast.  A little later we went to the mall so he could pick out a new skateboard deck.  When Joe went to work, I took the kids bowling.  We headed back to our house after bowling so Mercy could get a nap.  Zeke and Brooklyn had fun playing outside and he got some practice in on his new board.  He also got a special birthday Skype session with cousins.  Later, we went to Space Aliens, a restaurant with a video arcade.  Joe and his co-workers met us there after the shop closed.  Yesterday some family from Northern Minnesota came to celebrate with us.  We enjoyed a barbeque in the nice weather and had fun spending time with them.  All in all, I think we celebrated this nine year old pretty well and he knew he was (is) loved.

woe is me

That's how this blog must sound some days.  Really I don't mean to be negative.  I don't really feel negative.. but this whole move has its ups and downs, and this morning was going down hill.

Yesterday our curriculum was supposed to arrive, but when it didn't and I checked the tracking, I realized that the address was printed wrong somewhere.  So I called UPS this morning and found out where I could go pick it up.  I got the directions and headed out.  The address was on a highway that I'm familiar with, so I thought it would be easy enough to find.  Wrong!  I drove and drove, thinking a UPS distribution center would be pretty easy to spot.  I ended up in a town about 15 minutes past where I was supposed to be, so I turned around.  I headed back, this time being super careful to notice every building on either side of the road.  Peering through some trees as I passed them, I spotted a UPS truck.  I continued on until I could make a u-turn, and then went back.  Sure enough, this UPS place was hidden in the trees, with no sign or anything.  I didn't think that was very nice of them to hide from weary travelers like me.

On the way home, I planned to stop at the grocery store.  I haven't yet picked a grocery store that I like best (there is no Safeway here).  So I saw a Cub Foods along the way and thought I'd go there.  I took the exit from the highway, but then made a wrong turn and ended up back on the highway, going the other way.  Ugg!  So I took an exit and tried again.  This time I made it to the store and proceeded in with my list.  It really takes forever to find things in a new store.  If only it were laid out exactly like my beloved Safeway.  I was back and forth throughout the store several times and had to ask employees at least twice to help me locate certain items.   I honestly don't know how long I was in there.  By the time I was ready to drive home, I felt I really deserved the enormous chocolate cupcake that called out to me as I walked through the bakery.  I wish I had a picture for you.  It really was a lovely cupcake.  But my camera wasn't in the car, and there was no way that thing was going to make it all the way back to the house in one piece.  I thought there might be half of it left, because it really was huge.  But by the time I pulled into the driveway, there was nothing but a few crumbs.  Oh, it was so good.  It was a creme filled chocolate cupcake, like the kind from Hostess that you used to get in your lunch box only on very special days, only homemade looking and much bigger.  It was very moist, and surprisingly light and fluffy.  I kind of wish I hadn't tried it.  Because now I know where they are and I may just go back for another sometime.

roller?

Yesterday morning, he did it.  He's been looking like he's been close to rolling over for quite a while now.  I have to admit, with moving and everything, I wasn't in a big hurry.  I liked that if I laid him down somewhere and walked away, he'd still be there when I got back.  This boy has such a sweet, mellow personality.. he just isn't in a hurry to do much.  And that's just fine with me.  While I was getting breakfast going for the older kids yesterday, I put Judah on the floor (carpet) nearby.  He was just laying there quietly, and after about five minutes I looked over and noticed he was on his tummy!  No one had gone over to him and rolled him over (they like to do this).  He was just chillin' on his tummy, propped up by his elbows, chewing on his hands.  He's so quiet about everything.  We couldn't make a big deal about it when it happened because we didn't know!  Of course the kids all rushed over to him and congratulated him once we noticed.  Maybe I can't call him a roller yet, because he's only done it once (that I know of... maybe he's secretly rolling all over the place and is so good, he gets back to where he started by the time I'm looking... or maybe not).  He'll be six months old tomorrow (Zeke's birthday.. his half birthday).  Some have been rolling for months by this age, some crawling... not Judah.  He just likes to hang out and watch everybody.  And that's just fine with me.

looking forward

I'm looking forward to school starting in a couple of weeks.  I thought about starting a new blog at homeschoolblogger.com specifically for school related posts, but I'm still kind of a rookie at this whole blog world so I thought I should keep it simple and just do it all in one place.  Besides, our homeschool life is really intertwined with our regular daily life since school and home occur together for us.

After posting the other day about needing to get our school room unpacked and organized, I got to work.  I finally ordered the curriculum we'll be using this year from My Father's World.  A friend told me about it a few years ago, but I was already using Heart of Wisdom at the time.  I loved Heart of Wisdom for me.. it was great for Bible study and I learned a lot, but since it is designed to be used with older grades, I found I was having to adapt a lot of the lessons and come up with my own hands-on projects to keep my kids' interest.  So for now, I've decided to switch gears and go with something that already has a lot of fun activities planned out, as well as good, sound teaching.  We'll be doing the unit on Exploring Countries and Cultures, which I'm super excited about, because I have a heart for missions and love geography.  I think we'll have a lot of fun with it and when you're passionate about something, it makes it that much easier to teach.

Speaking of passion and teaching, we've set up an art room in the house too, and Joe is sharing his love of art with the kids.  Judah and I have been sick for the past couple of days, so we stayed home while Joe took the other three kids to church and then to an art store in Minneapolis to get some supplies.  They've all three started painting canvases.  I'll post pictures soon.  We've decided not to get cable here because we all tended to watch too much tv before and we'd rather spend our time more purposefully.  I really wish we had at least a few basic channels right now so we could watch the olympics, but overall I'm thankful we opted not to get it.  So far we're all reading more and the kids are drawing and playing outside a lot.  Once we finish getting everything set up, we'll be doing more art projects and crafts, and I'm really wanting to sew some things.  Stay tuned for updates and pictures of our creations!  

settling in

I don't think it's a coincidence that one of the boxes I opened our second day here contained the book After the Boxes are Unpacked.  This is a book I read about 10 years ago after our first move here (and hadn't really seen much since).  I attended a Hearts at Home conference and went to a breakout session called "Surviving Relocation".  The title caught my attention, and as someone who moved every couple of years throughout childhood (my dad was in the Navy) and also moved several times since getting married (my husband says he was on a college tour), I thought I'd see what this session was all about.  I cried through the whole thing.  It validated feelings I wasn't even acknowledging that I had.  The speaker referenced the book I unpacked last week and talked about how when you move you go through a grieving process.  There are different steps of grieving that movers experience, and it's perfectly normal and ok for me to feel things like denial, anger, depression and sadness.  Eventually I'm supposed to get to acceptance, but I think I'll allow myself to go through the steps in order and not deny the fact that this is a grieving process. 

So I started reading the book again.  And I started crying again.  But I'm doing ok.  I've actually made a couple of friends, thanks to my scouring the internet before we moved, looking for resources for when we'd get here.  Tomorrow we're going to a friend's house who I met through a local homeschool group.  She's going to walk me through the steps of what I'll need to do for the legalities of homeschooling in Minnesota.  Yesterday we walked to another friend's house.  It turns out she moved to this neighborhood (from 15 minutes away) just 10 days before we did.  And she goes to the church we're trying, and was in the nursery on Sunday.  She even offered to watch Mercy last night while I took the other kids to a Fall Rally for the homeschool group.  I did leave Mercy with her, but we never made it to the Fall Rally.  I found the address to the place online and printed directions from mapquest, but I didn't follow them correctly.  I can blame it on the torrential downpour that occurred at the exact moment I was supposed to switch highways, or the fact that I'm the new girl.  It would have been nice to go, but since we've never been, we don't really know what we missed.  There will be other opportunities to meet people.  

We are getting settled.  At least upstairs is mostly kind of done.  I don't have anything on the walls yet, which I should.  Because pictures make it seem more like home.  I kind of lost motivation to get everything unpacked.  I was doing so well... the kitchen was done early on, and I made sure everyone had bedding the first night.  Brooklyn and Zeke were required to unpack their own rooms.  Judah's is done.  Mercy's is waiting for beds that were in Joe's grandma's house, so she's sleeping with Brooklyn for now.  And the school room.  I thought I'd be finished with that by now.  I guess because it's out of sight it's out of mind too.  I really need to get it done so I can assess what's needed to begin in a few weeks.  I really like to be organized.  I did a little today.  Maybe tomorrow I can call that room done too.  And I should really get some things on the walls.  I need to see faces of family and friends (besides just on facebook!).

 God is good.  He knows me and He knows my grieving and my honest attempt to settle in here.  And He's holding me through it all.

we made it

Well I'm sitting in my new living room in a little town in Minnesota.  Yesterday my mood matched the drizzly, gray skies.  It was Joe's first day at work here and I was left at home waiting for the guy to come connect our internet... with four kids, lots of boxes, and the reality that this is our life now.  It all started yesterday morning when I went to join Curves.  I had to fill out paperwork and when I got to the part where I had to fill in my nearest relative I almost started crying.  I just skipped it and moved on.

Things have actually been going pretty well.  Really well even.  We have been so blessed by God's goodness and the body of Christ coming through when we really have needed it.  The move didn't go as planned.  Over three months ago Joe hired movers to move our household stuff and car haulers to haul his classic cars.  Both fell through four days after we left California.  I don't need to go into the details of the long story, but basically Joe ended up flying back after we'd driven half way, gathered some friends to help load a Uhaul, and moved our stuff himself.  His sister Sarah also helped by driving his truck out for us.  She spent her birthday driving across highway 80, through Utah, Wyoming and into Nebraska.  We love her.  While on the road, Joe called the church I'd scoped out online to see if they might have anyone available to help us unload when we got here.  Our sister in law in Colorado also made some phone calls, because she grew up not far from here and has connections still.  Shortly after we pulled in, we were met by some Masters Commission students from the church, Joe's cousin and her fiance, and some friend's of Melita's.. who even brought dinner for everyone.  We were really blown away.  God takes care of us even out here in the boonies in Minnesota!  

Two days later, we got to spend the day with the Peterson clan.  They are our very dear friends (family) from our church  in Vallejo.  Pastor Scott and Betsy both grew up in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area and their parents are still there, so the whole family (19 of them) came to visit and set aside a day to spend with us.  It was great to see them and get away from the boxes for a day.  On Saturday there was a kids carnival at the church, so we went and the kids had a good time.  We met the pastors and Joe was invited to the senior pastor's house that night for a pay per view UFC fight.  He loved that.  We also had some visitors come by to meet us at the house... I had joined a homeschool group online and had been corresponding with a mom a little since joining.  She and another mom brought their kids over to meet us and she's offered to help fill out the paperwork I need to file for homeschooling here.  On Saturday at the kids carnival, her daughter brought us some yummy homemade banana/chocolate chip bread.  We were warmly welcomed at church on Sunday too, and the kids enjoyed kids church.  After church, we headed down to Minneapolis to hang out and swim with the Petersons at their hotel.  We enjoyed our time together again and came to our final goodbye.  Then we headed home and went to bed.  

I guess after all that busy-ness, it's understandable why yesterday was a hard day.  Joe went to work and I was in my new reality.   I'm confident though, that God will be by my side through this huge adjustment and He'll be my strength.  I'll probably blog more as I go through this process.  For now, I must tend to my sweet Judah, who just woke up from his nap.

such sweet sorrow

Parting, that is.  I haven't blogged in a while.  We've been having a fun, busy, purposeful summer.  I can't believe our time here is winding down so quickly.  Next week (it's really down to next week already?) the movers come to load everything and then we begin our journey.  Sunday when we were up in front of church, Joe said it might just be for a season, that hopefully we'll be back.  I do hope so.  But I'm going with an open mind.  Only God knows what's on the next step. 

I've savored many sweet moments with friends and family this summer.  I'm sure some are wishing we'd just hurry up and leave already.  This whole going away thing started pretty early.  It was the beginning of June when we had the potluck/going away party at Bible study.  Then a few weeks later my sweet friend Corliss had her cookie party (usually at Christmas time, but at the end of June since I won't make it to the December one this year).  After Disneyland, I surprised when a ladies pottery painting night turned into making mugs for me to take with me.  Then dinner with a few close friends who'd love to go every month, but it usually only happens a few times a year, and we made sure to squeeze one in before our move.  And our last time to host "family night".  And the dinner for the coffee shop workers.  And our last Sunday at church.  So many lasts (for now at least).  It must seem too drawn out for some, but we didn't plan it that way.  And one thing's for sure.  I feel loved.  God has been so good, and He's blessed us with such amazing family and friends here.  I have savored each moment and will treasure the pictures and the memories.  

Now we're getting to the hard part.  The real goodbyes.  All these other going-away-ish things weren't too sad because we'd still see these people since we weren't leaving yet.  But Sunday may have been the last time we'd see some of them for a while.  And tonight we had dinner with and had to say goodbye to a special family who has become our family.  Tomorrow we'll see my mom and Kelly's family for the last time until one of us visits the other.  Sarah and Eric are so busy at camp, I'm not even sure if we'll get to see them again before we go.  Michelle is here in town, so we'll should still see each other this week.  Our kids want to have a sleepover and I want to spend time with them.  I get her kids for two weeks in September/October while she's in Russia on a missions trip.  It will be great having them at our new place, and may make it easier to say goodbye here.  Also, our super good friends are ALL (20 of them) coming at the end of the week that we'll get there.  They have family in St. Paul and will come to our neck of the woods... I mean lakes... for the day.  Another great friend is hoping to come for Mercy's birthday in October.  Knowing people are coming takes a little bit of the sting away.  I have that old Boys2Men song going through my head.. "It's so hard to say goodbye... I'll take with me the memories to be my sunshine after the rain (snow in my case)..."

I know God is going before us and with us.  And I know we'll be okay once we're there.  Joe's aunt has already offered to come help us unpack and get settled.  And I've already connected with a few homeschooling moms in the area through a homeschool group's website I found.  But I'll so miss all of our loved ones here.  I'm so glad for fun times these last few months.  I'm glad for opportunities to just enjoy the company of friends and make memories with family.  I'm leaving with a sad heart, but with a cup overflowing (make that seven mugs overflowing!).  Filled up to be poured out... I guess I better be ready to be poured out.

summertime

Wow, it's rushing by!  I haven't blogged in a while.  I've had fun reading others' blogs, but I haven't been doing much of my own.  We're trying to get the most out of this summer while we're still here, and so far we've been busy.  After Joe and I came home from Minnesota, we had "Cousin Camp" at my sister's house.  It was a crazy fun week for 10 silly kids and their moms.

 

The next week, our kids had "Mega Sports Camp" at church.  Kind of like VBS, but with a sports theme.  They had a blast.  Then, a dear friend from church, who hosts a cookie baking and decorating day every December, arranged to have a special cookie party at the end of June since I won't be here at Christmas  time.  So sweet.  So we baked, decorated, ate soup and cookies, talked, laughed and had a relaxing time together.


Last week, Brooklyn went to summer camp.  It's strange writing or even thinking about our little girl going to camp... but our sister and brother in law are directors at a camp, and Brooklyn went with two of her cousins on Joe's side of the family.  They had a great time.  She was super tired at the end of the week, but it was all worth it.  So special to have that time together.

While she was gone, I got a little packing done, cared for a baby boy with tummy troubles, and played with a two-and-a-half year old.  Zeke got to stay at camp for a couple of days with another cousin (at their house there).  The day after he came home, he went to a sleepover with his best friends here (minus one, who was at Disneyland).  Then the fourth of July festivities began... so much fun!  Now we're off to Disneyland ourselves for a few days, joined by my sister Kelly and her family.  Sadly, Michelle's family won't be joining us.. but we still have time to have fun with them before we move.  I can't believe how quickly our time here is coming to an end.  I'm really sad when I think about it but I'm still enjoying the time we have left and haven't really let myself dwell on the sadness for very long yet.  After Disneyland, we're going to a wedding and then we'll be home for two weeks packing and getting ready.  Right before we move, I'm going to our women's retreat in Tahoe.  That will be super fun but likely super sad at the same time.  I'm just enjoying every minute I have left with friends and family.. and I'm thankful that I've been blessed with such amazing friendships that I know will live on even after we've moved from here.

we found a place

It helped that we had been searching online for weeks and weeks before the house hunting trip.  I had been on real estate sites, for sale by owner sites, links from the online newspaper for the area, and craigslist.  The whole thing did not go down as we had expected or hoped, really.. but we got a place none the less.  Since Joe is going into a commission based job instead of a steady salary position, we were not able to get traditional financing for a house.  He talked to a private lender but was a little unsure of the guy and the amount he was willing to finance wasn't quite enough to find a place for this family of six.  So we decided to try to find a place we could get with a lease option (lease with option to buy).  We did this a few years ago out here, and it worked great.  So the house we found was a for sale by owner listed on craigslist.  Joe presented the seller with the lease option idea and he was willing to work with us.  So we have a place to live.  It's a nice place.  It has it's pros in cons in terms of what we were hoping to find, but I'll focus on the pros.  The nice thing about a lease option is that if we choose to buy it in a couple of years, the price is already locked in, and it's a good price.  And if we decide it isn't where we'd like to stay, we can move on to something else.  It's in a teeny tiny town.  The kids are excited because they can probably ride their bikes pretty much all over town with no worries.  There is a little restaurant there, and they make super good wild rice soup.  

I cried the first two days I was there... the reality of the whole thing really set in.  I felt bad for Joe.  As much as I tried to hide my emotions, they kept coming out.  He worked while we were there, and the work was good.  It was really busy and people liked his work.  Once we got the house thing settled early in the week, there wasn't much for me to do around there, so I took Judah to meet his northern Minnesota relatives.  Let me just say that this little guy is a fabulous traveler.  He slept the entire plane ride, did great in the car wherever we went, and was full of smiles for all the new people he met during our trip.  He's such a sweet baby.  

The family we have there is great.  They were very accommodating while we were there and made time to see us even with such short notice that we were coming.  It would really make this move easier if we were moving to the same area they're in, but it will be nice to be just a few hours away.

The three older kids did great while we were gone.  We'd never left them for that long before and I was a little nervous before we left, but they had a blast playing with cousins.  We talked to them everyday and skyped one night with them.  All in all, it was a successful trip.  Sadly, our time here is quickly winding down.  I really need to get to packing.  My excuse for not doing it before was that I wanted to wait to see what kind of place we'd be living in first, so I could picture where things would go and figure out what I need to get rid of.  Now it's just been too hot.  But those are just excuses.  Really, I dread packing for any move.  But it's time to face the responsibility and just get started so I'm not left with the huge task at the end.  My sisters and I were just talking this week about The Procrastinator, a character from the Amanda Show.  "I'll get to it.... eventually!"